2. Baruch Dayan Haemes-Blessing on bad tidings:

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2. Baruch Dayan Haemes-Blessing on bad tidings: [1]

A. In what circumstances is it recited?

Upon hearing bad tidings, one says the blessing of “Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam Dayan Haemes.” It goes without saying that this applies if one witnessed the bad occurrence. [Nevertheless, the custom today is to diminish in the recital of these blessings, as brought next.[2]]

Custom upon hearing of death of a Jew:[3] The custom of the world is to say Baruch Dayan Haemes without Hashem’s name [i.e. Shem or Malchus] upon hearing of the death of any [Kosher[4]] Jew. If, however one is pained by the death of this Jew due to his love for him, and certainly if the person who died was a man of stature [and he is thus pained by his passing], then one needs to recite the blessing with Hashem’s name. [Practically today, the custom is to only recite the blessing with Hashem’s name by the passing of a relative for whom one must sit Shiva.[5] Likewise, one is to recite the blessing with Hashem’s name upon the passing of one’s main Rebbe.[6]]

Trustworthy source:[7] A blessing for tidings, whether good tidings or bad tidings, may only be said if one heard it from a trustworthy source who witnessed the matter. If the person is not trustworthy in his eyes, then he is to recite the blessing without Hashem’s name. 

B. When is one to recite the blessing upon hearing of the passing of a relative?

As stated above, the custom is to recite the blessing of Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name only for the passing of a relative for whom one must sit Shiva. From the letter of the law, the blessing and Keriah is to be performed at the time of death, during the recital of Tziduk Hadin.[8] If one was not present during the death, then it is to be recited as soon as he hears of the death.[9] This applies even on Shabbos.[10] Nevertheless, today, the custom is to delay the blessing until the Levaya when Keriah is performed, and it is no longer recited at the time of death.[11] Nevertheless, one who says the blessing at the time of death, or the time of hearing of the passing, does not lose out, and the blessing is not to be repeated later on at the time of Keriah.[12] [Every mourner is to say the blessing himself, and is not to have one person recite it on behalf of them all.[13]]

C. How to say the blessing: [14]

One is obligated to say the blessing of Dayan Haemes with completeness of mind and soulful desire just as he says the blessing with joy upon hearing a good tiding.[15]

D. Blessing of Shehechiyanu or Hatov Vihameitiv upon death of father [or anyone who one inherits]: [16]

If one’s father [or other relative[17]] died and there is an inheritance that he will receive, then he is to first recite the blessing of Dayan Haemes with Sheim Umalchus and afterwards is to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu. If he also has a brother receiving an inheritance, then the brothers are to each say the blessing of “Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam Hatov Vehameitiv” in place of Shehechiyanu. Each of the brothers are to say this blessing even if they are not together. This applies whether one witnessed the death of his father or heard of it.

When is the blessing said: This blessing is said as soon as one hears of the death or witnesses it [even though he is within the status of Onen[18]]. [The blessing is said after the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes.[19]]

The custom today: Many are accustomed to being lenient not to recite these blessings anymore.[20] Practically, however, the blessing is to be recited.[21]

Summary: One is to say Baruch Dayan Haemes without Hashem’s name, upon hearing of the death of any [Kosher] Jew. If one is a relative of the deceased and must sit Shiva on his passing, then one needs to recite the blessing with Hashem’s name. Likewise, one is to recite the blessing upon the passing of one’s main Rebbe. Today, the custom is to delay the blessing until the Levaya when Keriah is performed, and it is no longer recited at the time of death. Nevertheless, one who says the blessing at the time of death, or at the time of hearing of the passing, does not lose out, and the blessing is not to be repeated later on at the time of Keriah. Every mourner is to say the blessing himself, and is not to have one person recite it on behalf of them all.   Q&A on saying blessing by Keriah If one must repeat the Keriah due to a previous invalidation, must the blessing of Dayan Haemes also be repeated?[22] No.   If the burial is taking place on Chol Hamoed, when is the blessing to be recited if Keriah is not performed? All relatives who sit Shiva are to recite the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name when the funeral takes place on Chol Hamoed, even if they will not be performing Keriah until Motzei Yom Tov.[23] Nevertheless, some are accustomed even in such a case to recite the blessing on Motzei Yom Tov, upon the Keriah being performed.[24]   1.      Question: [Monday, 1st MarCheshvan 5781] Should one say Baruch Dayan Haemes when hearing of the passing of a gentile? I am asking because a non-Jewish relative of a friend of mine passed away and would like to know if I may say it.   Answer: There is no prohibition against doing so, as Hashem’s name is not being mentioned, and hence it is not considered a blessing. From a Halachic perspective, it is no different than saying it after the passing of a Jew. However, Admur in his Seder Birchas Hanehnin records that the custom of Jewry is specifically to say it after the passing of a Jew. This is seemingly coming to negate saying it by the passing of a non-Jew. However, what makes more sense is to say that Admur is simply saying that the custom is to always say it when hearing of the passing of a Jew as a Jew is naturally distressed when he hears of the passing of another Jew, however by a non-Jew it is left to one’s discretion and level of pain, and hence if one is pained by the death, he may recite it, and if he is not pained then he does not recite it, and perhaps should not recite it. Likewise, if a non-Jewish relative of an individual passed away, perhaps it may be said by him or his friends as a sign of comforting. Vetzaruch Iyun.   Sources: See Admur Seder 12:8 [writes the custom by Jews]; Luach 11/24 and 12:20 [seemingly negates Dayan Haemes by Non-Jew, unless one is pained]; Michaber 222/2; M”A 223/4 [relates Dayan Haemes to only Kosher Jew]; Kaf Hachaim 223/9   Q&A on until when the blessing may be said If the blessing of Dayan Haemes was not recited by the funeral, until when may the blessing be recited? The blessing may be said so long as he still feels pain due to the death.[25] Practically, some Poskim[26] rule that the blessing may only be said with Hashem’s name up until the third day of Shiva. This applies even in the event that one did not perform Keriah by the Levayah and is doing the Keriah during the Shiva, nevertheless after three days of Shiva the blessing can no longer be recited with Hashem’s name.[27] Other Poskim[28] however rule it may be recited throughout the Shiva. Practically, one may say the blessing throughout the Shiva so long as he still feels pain.[29]   If one heard of the passing of a relative for whom he must sit Shiva much time after the death and burial, is the blessing to be recited?[30] The blessing is to be recited at the time he receives knowledge of the passing. This applies even if thirty days have passed from the death and burial [i.e. Shemua Rechoka] and even if a full year has passed. The blessing may be said until he no longer feels pain due to the death.[31] Some[32] say that by a Shemua Rechoka, one may only say the blessing for the first 24 hours.   Q&A on miscellaneous circumstances of death If one heard of the passing of two relatives, how many blessings are to be recited?[33] One blessing is recited on behalf of both relatives. [Thus, if one has two funerals of two relatives taking place, the blessing is not to be said by the Keriah that is done by the second Levaya, being one already said the blessing during the first funeral, when he already had knowledge of the second relatives passing.[34]]   Is the blessing of Dayan Haemes to be recited for a relative who committed suicide? Some Poskim[35] rule the blessing is to be recited without Hashem’s name.   Is the blessing of Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name to be recited upon the death of a child under 30 days old [i.e. Nefel]?[36] Some write that the relatives may say the blessing with Hashem’s name if they so choose.   When does the Chasan or Kallah recite the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes? Even in the event that the Shiva will only  begin after the conclusion of Sheva Brachos, the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes is to be recited during Sheva Brachos, immediately upon discovering the death. However, some are accustomed to delay its recital until the Keriah is performed after Sheva Brachos. See Chapter 13 Halacha 10C for the full details of this matter!

The Nussach:[37] Some say the blessing with a Kamatz under the Yud of Dayan, while others say the blessing with a Patach under the Yud.

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[1] Admur Seder 12:8; Luach 11:24; Michaber 222:2; Brachos 54 and 59; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 63; Pnei Baruch 1:7

[2] See P”M 222 A”A 1

[3] Admur ibid; M”A 223:4 in name of Bach that so is custom, although is incorrect; Taz 223:4; Kitzur SHU”A 59:6; M”B 223:8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 63:4; See P”M 222 A”A 1 that today we are accustomed to diminish in these blessings

[4] See M”A ibid; Kaf Hachaim 223:9

[5] Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2

[6] Halichos Shlomo 23 footnote 46; Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 63:4

[7] Admur ibid; M”A 222:1; Mateh Moshe in name of Sefer Chassidim

[8] Michaber 339:3; Shach 340:3; Ramban in Toras Hadam that so is custom; Kol Bo; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 4:9 footnote 20 and 57:5; See Beir Heiytiv 340:2 that this matter is dependent on custom in whether one recites Tziduk Hadin at the time of the passing; See that the blessing is to be said as soon as one hears of

[9] See Admur ibid; Michaber ibid; Birchas Habayis 31:5

[10] Chochmas Adam 151:11 in name of Rokeiach and Shivlei Haleket; Milameid Lehoil 105

[11] Birkeiy Yosef 340:1; Gesher Hachaim 4:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 4:9; 63:1

The relation of the blessing to Keriah: In essence, there is no Halachic connection between Keriah and the blessing of Dayan Haemes, and it is simply approximated to the Keriah. [See Birkeiy Yosef 340:1; Gesher Hachaim 4:26; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 12 footnote 24] However, some learn that the blessing is related to the actual Keriah. [See Mishmeres Shalom ibid in name of Shevet Yehuda that the blessing is to be repeated at the time of the Keriah; See Sdei Chemed Aveilus 180 in name of Yad Neman]

[12] Mishmeres Shalom Kuf 64; Gesher Hachaim 4:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 63:1; See Halichos Shlomo 23 footnote 46 that Rav SZ”A said the blessing on Shabbos immediately upon hearing of the passing of his wife.

Other opinions: See Mishmeres Shalom ibid in name of Shevet Yehuda that the blessing is to be repeated at the time of the Keriah

Covering the face of the dead: Those who desire to recite the blessing of Dayan Haemes upon seeing the passing of the relative are to cover the face of the deceased before reciting the blessing. [Nitei Gavriel 63:3 in name of Mavor Yabok]

[13] Mishpitei Uziel 103; Gesher Hachaim 57:7; Nitei Gavriel 63:7

Answering Amen: See Gesher Hachaim 58:8 and Nitei Gavriel 63:8 regarding if an Onen may answer Amen to the blessing of Dayan Haemes of another mourner.

[14] Michaber 222:3; Brachos 54

[15] The reason: As the evil that occurs to those who are servants of Hashem is in truth their joy and for their benefit, and since he accepts with love all that Hashem has decreed upon him, it is found that upon accepting this evil he is serving Hashem, which is a reason for joy. [Michaber ibid]

[16] Admur Seder 12:8; Luach 11:24; Michaber 223:2; Chayeh Adam 62:1; M”B 223:9; See Nitei Gavriel 35:1

[17] M”B 223:9; Mor Uketzia 223 regarding a wife; Nitei Gavriel ibid 3

If the son passes away: If one’s son passed away and the father inherited his money, a blessing of Shehechiyanu or Hatov Vihameitiv is not recited. [Gloss of Rav Akiva Eiger 223 in name of Livyas Chen; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 305:23; Aruch Hashulchan 305:47]

[18] Implication of Admur and all Poskim ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2; See however Gesher Hachaim p:166

[19] Taz 223:1; Bach 223; Vetzaruch Iyun today that the blessing of Dayan Haemes is delayed until the funeral if likewise this blessing is to be delayed.

[20] Rama 223:1, as explained in M”A 223:3; Nimukei Orach Chaim 223 that he has never heard anyone accustomed to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu or Hatov Vihameitiv after a death, and that doing so appears extremely cruel that he is happy at his father death and therefore anyone who says the blessing is doing a wonderous act. See Nitei Gavriel 35 footnote 6

[21] M”A 223:3; Implication of Admur and all Poskim ibid who omit the ruling of Rama ibid

[22] Mishmeres Shalom Kuf 64; See Nitei Gavriel 57:7 footnote 15

Other opinions: See Mishmeres Shalom ibid in name of Shevet Yehuda that the blessing is to be repeated at the time of the Keriah

[23] Gesher Hachaim 4:26; Pnei Baruch 28:4; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 12:12

[24] Nitei Gavriel 61:8

[25] See Birchas Habayis 31:5

[26] Sdei Chemed Aveilus 180 in name of Shiyurei Bracha 340:7 and Chaim Sheol 2:38-47 in name of Beis Oved [Vetzaruch Iyun, as the Shiyurei Bracha and Chaim Sheol make no mention of three days in the above sources-see Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 18]; Gesher Hachaim 4:26; Pnei Baruch 1:7; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 12:13

[27] The reason: As the blessing is not related to the Keriah but rather to the tiding, and once three days have passed there is no longer enough pain to justify the blessing.

[28] Sdei Chemed Aveilus 180 [in his own opinion]; Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 18 and 61:9; See Michaber 396:1 and Chochmas Adam 152:1 and Beis David 340:27 that all seven days is considered Shaas Chimum regarding Keriah and the same should apply regarding the blessing

[29] Nitei Gavriel ibid as we find no source for limiting the blessing to three days, as all the above Sefarim and Melaktim based their opinion on the Chida, and there is no source found in the Chida to back their claim in his name.

[30] Nitei Gavriel 63:9 in name of Gesher Hachaim 24:2-3 and in volume 2 38:2; Pnei Baruch 26:22

[31] See Birchas Habayis 31:5

[32] Gesher Hachaim 24:2-3

[33] M”B 222:2

[34] So seems from M”B 222:2 and Shaar Hatziyon 222:2

[35] Daas Kedoshim 345; Nitei Gavriel 63:10

[36] Nitei Gavriel 63:6 in name of Rav Moshe Feinstein; 135:6

[37] Nitei Gavriel 63 footnote 1