Question:
My young children are home during the Three Weeks, and one of the easiest ways to keep them occupied and calm is by putting on children’s music or a music video, such as Uncle Moishy. Is this permitted during the Three Weeks? Does it make a difference how old the child is?
Answer:
It depends on the child’s age and level of understanding. Children who are below the age of chinuch for the mourning of the Churban may listen to music or watch children’s music videos when necessary to keep them occupied. However, children who are old enough to understand the concept and purpose of mourning for the Beis Hamikdash should generally not listen to music during the Three Weeks. Nevertheless, where it is genuinely needed to maintain peace and sanity in the home, there is room to be lenient even for older children.
Explanation:
The mourning customs of the Three Weeks differ from private mourning. While children are generally not obligated to observe the laws of personal mourning, many Poskim explain that communal mourning practices instituted in response to national tragedies apply to children once they reach the age of chinuch.
Accordingly, children who are mature enough to understand that the Jewish people are mourning the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash should be educated to participate in these customs, including refraining from music. The age of chinuch in this regard is not determined by a specific birthday, but by whether the child is capable of understanding the concept and purpose of the mourning period.
However, very young children who do not yet possess this understanding are not included in these restrictions. Therefore, parents may play children’s music or music videos for them when necessary to keep them occupied and calm.
Furthermore, even regarding children who have reached the age of chinuch, the primary concern with music is when it is being listened to for enjoyment and celebration. When the objective is different—such as maintaining order in the home, calming young children, preventing excessive fighting, or enabling parents to function normally—many Poskim allow room for leniency. Thus, if playing an Uncle Moishy video or similar content is necessary for the well-being and sanity of the household, one may rely on the lenient opinions.
Sources:
- See regarding that children are exempt from Aveilus restrictions after the loss of a relative r”l: Michaber Y.D. 396:3; Tur in name of Rosh; Shach in Nekudos Hakesef 340:15 based on Rosh and Tur and Michaber 396; M”A 551:38; Rokeiach Aveilus 314; Degul Merivava 340; Yad Avraham 381; Beis Hillel 381 based on Rashi Taanis 12b; Levushei Serud 340:15; Chochmas Adam 152:17; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:10; Igros Moshe 1:124; Nitei Gavriel 105:25; and many Poskim in 127 footnote 1; See Pnei Baruch 25 footnote 9 See Pnei Baruch 25; Nitei Gavriel 127
- See regarding that children who are of age of Chinuch are nonetheless to follow mourning restrictions for the destruction of the temple and Sefira: M”A 551:31 “It is implied that it is permitted to give meat and wine to a child this week [of Tishe Beav], as to begin with they were not accustomed to be stringent with a child, however only if he is not of age of mourning” based on Rama 551:10 who permits giving wine of Havdalah to child, and based on Hagahos Maimanis Minhagei Av 59, as explained in Machatzis Hashekel ibid [The M”A ibid negates the argument that the Rama’s allowance is limited to when there is a Mitzvah need involved in the eating or drinking, and proves that it applies in all cases]; Makor Chaim 551:9; Chayeh Adam 133:16; Divreiy Yatziv 2:236; Chanoch Lanaar 21 footnote 5; Or Letziyon 1:33; Yalkut Yosef; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:41 [that this applies even according to the M”B brought next]; See Nitei Gavriel 38:1
- See regarding the definition of the age of Chinuch: M”A ibid; Chayeh Adam ibid; All Poskim ibid in first footnote, and so agrees: Or Letziyon 1:33; Yalkut Yosef; Divreiy Yatziv 2:236 regarding chicken
- See regarding the general prohibition against listening to music during Sefira: Aruch Hashulchan 493:2; Igros Moshe 1:166; 3:87; Minchas Yitzchak 1:111; Kinyan Torah 2:99; Yechaveh Daas 3:30; Mishneh Halachos 8:188; Az Nidbaru 10:23; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:13; 493:4
- See regarding that this prohibition of listening to music also applies to children: Igros Moshe 4:21-4; Likkutei Sichos 37 p. 122; Koveitz Mibeis Levi 1:57; Halichos Bas Yisrael 24:5; Piskeiy Teshuvos 493 footnote 37; Nitei Gavriel 53:4-5 and footnotes 8-9
- See regarding allowance for children who are below the age of Chinuch to listen to music: Igros Moshe 4:21-4; Halichos Bas Yisrael 25:4; Nitei Gavriel 53: 5 and footnote 9
- See regarding the allowance to listen to music for ulterior purposes and not for the sake of joy: So is understood from all Poskim who rule a musician may play for gentiles due to that for him it is not for pleasure. [See P”M 551 A”A 10; Kitzur SH”A 122:1; Ben Ish Chaiy Devarim 5; Biur Halacha 551 “Mematin”; Kaf Hachaim 551:39; Igros Moshe 3:87; Kinyan Torah 2:99] So is also understood from M”A 560:9; and Sota 49a regarding the allowance to sing during laborious work in order to hasten their work ability. One may thus listen to music for therapeutic purposes: See Shevet Halevi 8:127 “Especially the women who do so to remove their depression, and it is permitted” [however it is unclear if he refers to during the year or even during Bein Hametzarim, although, in truth the reason of the Heter should apply during all times]; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 493 footnote 36; Chelkas Yaakov 1:61 and 3:98 regarding Shabbos; See Sefer “Eileh Heim Moadaiy” 3:63-65 for a discussion from Poskeiy Zemaneinu on this matter