Question:
I am a teenage girl, and during the Three Weeks I need to maintain basic grooming, such as plucking my eyebrows and shaving my legs and other body hair. If I do not do so, I feel very embarrassed and uncomfortable in public, as well as discomfort. Is this permitted during the Three Weeks, or must I refrain from all forms of hair removal until after Tisha B’Av?
Answer:
If refraining from plucking eyebrows or shaving legs will cause genuine embarrassment or affect one’s appearance in a way that would be considered socially uncomfortable or shameful, it is permitted to do so during the Three Weeks. Likewise, any hair that causes discomfort may be trimmed or shaved if she feels it is necessary. However, if the motivation is merely for additional beautification or minor cosmetic improvement, and there is no real embarrassment or discomfort involved, one should avoid doing so, especially during the week of Tisha B’Av.
Explanation:
Ashkenazim refrain from cutting hair beginning on the 17th of Tammuz, while Sephardim generally begin these restrictions during the week of Tisha B’Av. This prohibition is not limited to the hair on one’s head, but extends to all body hair as well. Thus, from a basic halachic perspective, shaving legs, removing body hair, and similar forms of grooming are included within the prohibition of haircutting during this period.
Now, there is a dispute among the Poskim regarding whether women are included in the prohibition of haircutting during the Three Weeks. Some authorities permit women to cut their hair throughout this period, while others maintain that women are included in the restriction just as men are. Practically, the accepted custom is to be stringent.
At the same time, the Poskim recognize important exceptions for a time of need. A married woman may remove hair for the sake of remaining attractive to her husband, and a woman may cut hair that is necessary for mikveh preparation. Likewise, many contemporary Poskim permit grooming that is necessary to prevent embarrassment or preserve normal appearance for ones husband or during Shidduchim. The Igros Moshe, although concluding that one should be stringent, qualifies this ruling by stating that it applies only when there is no genuine need. Accordingly, in any case where a woman feels that trimming or shaving is a pressing need, she may be lenient and do so.
Now, eyebrow plucking and shaving legs are not necessarily viewed as ordinary haircutting done for pleasure or beautification. In many communities, failing to maintain these areas can cause a girl significant embarrassment and self-consciousness. When the purpose is to avoid public shame or preserve a socially acceptable appearance, there is room to be lenient throughout the Three Weeks.
However, where there is no genuine embarrassment and the grooming is merely for enhanced beauty, fashion, or preference, one should be stringent and postpone it. This is particularly true during the week of Tisha B’Av, when the mourning practices intensify.
Accordingly, the practical distinction is not whether the hair is on the head, eyebrows, or legs, but rather the purpose of the grooming. If it is being done to avoid embarrassment and discomfort and maintain normal appearance, it may be permitted. If it is being done solely for additional beautification, it should preferably be deferred.
Sources:
Lehoros Nasan 31; Igros Moshe 2:137 “Although one could logically argue that it is permitted, since many Rishonim allow a woman to take a haircut after Shiva even during an actual period of mourning, and thus certainly there is room to be lenient during Sefirah and the Three Weeks, which are based on custom, nevertheless, the primary conclusion appears to be to rule stringently. Accordingly, a woman should refrain from taking a haircut during these periods if there is no pressing need to do so.”
- The dispute among the Poskim regarding haircutting for women during the Three Weeks: Lenient: Panim Meiros 2:37; Ikarei Hadaat 27:19; Pischeiy Teshuvah Stringent: P”M 551 M”Z 13; M”B 551:79; Kitzur SHU”A 122:3; Kaf Hachaim 551:47; Noda Beyehuda 14:99 regarding the week of Tisha B’av; See Lehoros Nasan 31; Igros Moshe 2:137
- The accepted custom to be stringent regarding women’s haircutting during the Three Weeks: Kaf Hachaim 551:47
- The allowance for a married woman to groom herself for Tzenius or for her husband: Peri Megadim 551 A”A 13; M”B 551:79; Taharas Hamayim in Shiyurei Taharah 54; Mikveh Hamayim 7:12; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:43
- The allowance to remove hair for mikveh preparation: Shraga Hameir 7:36; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:43 footnote 225
- The leniencies granted for preventing embarrassment or preserving normal appearance: Lehoros Nasan 31; Igros Moshe 2:137; Piskeiy Teshuvos 551:43; Halichos Beisa 25 footnote 70 in name of Rav SZ”A; Nitei Gavriel 21:3-4 in name of Poskim