Negative commands:[1] With regard to negative commandments, once a child has reached the age of understanding—meaning that he comprehends when he is told that a certain act is forbidden[2]—the father is obligated to prevent him from transgressing, whether the prohibition is biblical or rabbinic. However, a child which has not yet reached the age of understanding, meaning that he does not understand at all[3] when he is told that something is forbidden to be done, then the father is not obligated to reprimand him or stop him from transgressing. [Thus, the distinction between the age of chinuch for positive and negative commandments is that with regard to a positive commandment, the age depends on the child’s understanding of that specific mitzvah, whereas with regard to a negative commandment, it depends on the child’s ability to understand the concept of prohibition—that is, the meaning of being told “no.” Some Poskim hold that this stage begins at ages four or five; however, in practice, parents should begin educating a child to refrain from transgressions starting around age three. If a child is particularly perceptive and demonstrates understanding even earlier, education should begin accordingly, even before age three. See the Q&A below for the full details of this subject!]
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Summary: The age of education for a positive command is dependent on the child’s understanding of each particular Mitzva while by a negative command it depends on him understanding the meaning of “no”. Q&A Practically from what age is a child considered to understand that something is forbidden to be done?[4] Some Poskim[5] rule this begins from age four or five. Practically, one is to educate a child against transgressing prohibitions starting from the age of three.[6] If, however, one sees that the child is sharp and already understands prior to age three then he is to educate him even prior to age three.[7]
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💬 Example: Understanding ‘No’
A three-year-old repeatedly reaches toward an electrical outlet. After being told “No, that is dangerous,” he immediately withdraws his hand and understands that he is not permitted to touch it. Although he may try again another day, he already grasps the basic concept of prohibition. A younger sibling, however, continues reaching for the outlet moments later without any indication that the warning was understood. Such a child has not yet reached the level of comprehension necessary for chinuch regarding prohibitions. This example helps clarify what Chazal mean when they speak of a child understanding that something is forbidden.
The Basic Ages of Chinuch
| Area | When Chinuch Begins | Definition |
| Positive mitzvos | Depends on each mitzvah | When the child understands that specific mitzvah |
| Negative prohibitions | When child understands “No” and “Forbidden” | Generally around age 3, sometimes earlier or later depending on maturity |
| Torah learning | When child begins to talk | Teach Torah Tzivah and Shema |
| Formal mitzvah obligation | Age 13 (boy), 12 (girl) | Bar/Bas Mitzvah |
[1] Admur 343:3 “However, education regarding prohibitions—whether Torah prohibitions or rabbinic ones—applies to any child who has sufficient understanding to comprehend when one tells him that something is forbidden to do or to eat But a child who has no understanding at all: his father is not obligated to prevent him…”; M”A 343:2; Chayeh Adam 66:2; M”B 343:3; Issur Viheter Shaar 48:8; Kaf Hachaim 343:18; See Tosafus Erechin 3a; Ketzos Hashulchan 147 footnote 3; See Toras Hakatan [Rubinovitch] Chapter 5:14-23
[2] Must the child reach the Stage at Which he Will Not Repeat the Behavior to be reprimanded: Some Poskim rule that it is not sufficient that a child merely have the basic understanding that when one scolds him or tells him “no” or “it is forbidden,” he refrains at that moment and does not act accordingly—something that is already found even in a one‑year‑old infant. Rather, what is required is that the child internalize the lesson to the extent that even on another occasion, without being warned again, he remembers it and refrains from acting, whether out of fear, embarrassment, maturity, or any other reason. [Chikrei Lev 61; Az Nidbaru 6:57; Chut Shani 95:12; Chidushim Ubiurim O.C. 18; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7] Generally, this level of internal understanding develops at approximately three years of age, and sometimes it is delayed until around the age of four. However, Tzaruch Iyun from Admur who writes the word “does not understand at all at all” which can imply that once a child has begun to grasp the concept of being told “no,” he is already to be prevented from transgressing even if he will repeat it in the future.
[3] Tzaruch Iyun as to the intent of Admur in writing the word “at all” and as to what it is coming to teach us? It is possible that his intent is to teach that once a child has begun to grasp the concept of being told “no,” he is already to be prevented from transgressing. Nevertheless, this matter requires further analysis (vetzaruch iyun).
[4] Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 and 7 footnote 87
[5] Yaavetz in Migdal Oz 3:5; Bach 334:12 “This child is prior to the age of Chinuch, such as a four or five year old”; Nitei Gavriel Yom Tov 1:5
[6] Az Nidbaru 6:57; Bris Olam Dinei Amirah Lenachri 22:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:2 and 7
[7] Bris Olam ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos 343:7