Sensitivity to Another Jew’s Feelings[1]
An important goal of Jewish education is to train a child from the youngest age to be deeply sensitive to the feelings of others and to feel genuine pain when he causes distress or embarrassment to another Jew. This lesson is illustrated by a story from the childhood of the Rebbe Rashab. When he was four years old, he innocently pulled a piece of cloth from a tailor’s pocket while the tailor was fitting a garment for his mother. The tailor became embarrassed and hurriedly explained himself. After the tailor left, his mother gently reproved the child for having caused the tailor embarrassment, and the Rebbe Rashab cried bitterly. Several weeks later he asked his father how one can rectify the sin of embarrassing another person. Yet he refused to reveal the details of what had happened, explaining that it was enough that he had been involved in causing embarrassment and he did not wish to add the transgression of speaking negatively about another Jew. What is remarkable is that the embarrassment had been caused unintentionally, was relatively minor, and occurred in private, yet he was deeply distressed simply because another Jew had experienced shame. The lesson is that children can and should be educated from a very young age to care profoundly about the dignity and feelings of others, to avoid speaking negatively about fellow Jews, and to develop a genuine love and concern for every member of the Jewish people.
[1] Likkutei Sichos 15:134; Sichos Kodesh 5741 4:144; Shaareiy Chinuch p. 93-94