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DonateHow long must a widow or divorcee wait to remarry?
Moments of transition—whether after a loss or a divorce—can be emotionally complex and filled with practical questions about what comes next. Among these is a very real and often time-sensitive question: when is it permitted to remarry? While the desire to move forward is natural, halacha establishes specific waiting periods that ensure clarity and protect important concerns. Chazal established waiting periods not only to clarify potential pregnancy from the previous marriage, but also to protect the well-being of a child who may still be dependent on the mother, especially during pregnancy or nursing. These halachos reflect both sensitivity to family realities and a careful safeguarding of lineage and child welfare, guiding how and when a new chapter can begin.
- Not pregnant and not after birth – 90 Days:[1]
All widows and divorcees must wait 90 days from after the divorce, or death of the husband, prior to remarrying [Kiddushin/Nissuin].[2] This applies even if the woman is not capable of bearing children, or did not have relations with her husband. If the widow/divorcee is pregnant or after birth, a further wait period is required, as explained in B.
How to calculate the 90 days: The 90 days are counted beginning from the day after the divorce or death of the husband. On the 91st day she may remarry.
Shidduchim:[3] The widow/divorcee may date and become non-Halachically engaged [no Kiddushin/Eirusin] prior to the 90 days. However, in such a case, the chosson may not enter the home of his kallah until the 90-day period has passed [and according to some opinions[4], he must even take an oath affirming that he will not do so during this time].
- Pregnant or after birth – 24 Months:[5]
The Sages decreed that a divorcee or widow who is pregnant or within 24 months from after birth, must wait until the baby is 24 months old in order to remarry.[6] This applies even if she is no longer nursing her child.
How to calculate the 24 Months:[7] The 24 months is counted beginning from the day of birth of the child. After 24 months she may remarry.
Leap Year – Double Adar:[8] If there is a double Adar within these 24 months, she is to initially be stringent and not consider it as part of the 24 months, and hence wait a total of 25 months.
Exceptions: The above law however carries the following exceptions, in which case she must only wait 90 days, as is the law by any other widow or divorcee:
- Child Passed Away r”l:[9] If the child passed away r”l, she may remarry right away, so long as 90 days have passed since the divorce or death of her husband.
- Child Was Already Weaned:[10] If the child was weaned before the divorce or death, she may remarry right away, so long as 90 days have passed since the divorce or death.
- No Milk:[11] If her milk dried up before the divorce or death, she may remarry right away, so long as 90 days have passed since the divorce or death.
Two-Sentence Summary:
A widow or divorcee must generally wait 90 days before remarrying. If she is pregnant or recently gave birth, she must wait until the child is 24 months old, unless specific exceptions apply.
Table of Laws
| Scenario | What To Do |
| Not pregnant, no recent birth | Wait 90 days; may remarry on day 91 |
| During 90-day wait | Dating and non-halachic engagement permitted |
| Pregnant or within 24 months of birth | Wait until child is 24 months old |
| Double Adar during 24 months | Ideally wait 25 months |
| Child passed away | Wait only 90 days |
| Child weaned before husband’s death/divorce | Wait only 90 days |
| Milk dried up before husband’s death/divorce | Wait only 90 days |
Practical Examples:
- Sarah, who finalized her divorce and is not pregnant, marks 90 days from the next day after the Get. On the 91st day, she may remarry, even if she began dating earlier.
- Leah, who gave birth shortly before her husband passed away, must wait until her baby turns 2 years old before remarrying, even if she stops nursing earlier.
- Rivka, whose baby was already fully weaned before her husband’s passing, does not need to wait 24 months—she follows the standard 90-day waiting period instead.
[1] Michaber E.H. 13:1 “Any woman who was divorced or became widowed may not remarry or even become halachically betrothed to another man until she waits ninety days—excluding the day of the divorce or the husband’s death, and excluding the day of the engagement. This waiting period is to determine whether she is pregnant, so as to distinguish between the offspring of the first husband and that of the second. However, she is permitted to arrange shidduchim (without halachic engagement), provided that he does not enter her home. For a divorced woman, the ninety days are counted from the date the get was written—even if it was conditional, or even if it only reached her much later—since from the time it is written he may no longer be secluded with her. The gloss adds that some opinions count from the time the get is actually given, and one should ideally be stringent and follow this view. This is a rabbinic decree applying even to a woman who is unable to bear children, and even if she was divorced or widowed following erusin (engagement only). Thus, even a minor, an elderly woman, one who is barren, an aylonis, or a case where the husband was overseas, impotent, ill, or imprisoned—or even a woman who miscarried after her husband’s death, or a virgin who had only been betrothed—all must wait ninety days.”; Rambam Gerushin 11:18; Tana Kama in Mishneh Yevamos 41a, which is Rebbe Meir; Rebbe Yochanon Yevamos 42b
[2] The reason: This wait is necessary to determine if the woman became pregnant from her previous husband in order to determine who the father is in the event that she gives birth. [Michaber ibid]
[3] Rama 13:1; Beis Yosef 13 in name of Teshuvas Harosh 53:1; Terumas Hadeshen 217
[4] Beis Yosef 13, brought in Chelkas Mechokeik 13:1; Beis Shmuel 13:1; Taz 13:2; Nachlas Tzevi 13:2
[5] Michaber 13:11 “The Sages decreed that a man may not marry or betroth a woman who is pregnant from another man, or who is nursing another man’s child, until the child reaches twenty-four months old. This period is calculated based on the standard lunar calendar months (alternating full and deficient months), excluding the day of birth and the day of betrothal. A leap month is included in the count, although some opinions maintain that initially one should be stringent to account for it separately. This law applies whether the woman is a widow, a divorcee, or even if she became pregnant through an illicit relationship (although some are lenient in the latter case). In situations where the woman is accustomed to promiscuity, some permit leniency so that she may remarry and thereby be safeguarded. Even if the child is given to a wet nurse, or the mother stops nursing within the 24-month period, she may not remarry. This remains true even if the wet nurse takes an oath or a public vow not to withdraw her services; although some opinions rule that if such an oath was taken and the woman already remarried, she need not be divorced. Even an oath made before a prominent or powerful individual does not permit remarriage. However, if the child passes away, she may remarry immediately, and we are not concerned that she might harm the child to permit remarriage. Similarly, if the child was weaned during the husband’s lifetime, or if the woman is physically unable to nurse (such as if her milk dried up during her husband’s lifetime), or if a wet nurse was arranged while the husband was still alive, or if she had already given the child to a wet nurse three months prior to the husband’s death and did not nurse at all during those three months—she may remarry.”; Yevamos 42a
[6] The reason: The Gemara ibid suggests several reasons for this prohibition, the common denominator of all the reasons is because it can jeopardize the safety of the child: The following are the reasons mentioned: a) If she becomes pregnant again from the second husband during her current pregnancy it could mutate and injure the child of the first pregnancy. [This is physically possible, and is called superfetation. Its last recorded occurrence was in 2009 by a couple in Arkansas who became pregnant with a second child several weeks after her first pregnancy.] b) The intercourse of the second husband may injure the child through pressing too much on him. 3) She may become pregnant during nursing, which will diminish her milk and jeopardize the health of the child. The Gemara negates the first two reasons and accepts the third reason as the final reason, and so writes Beis Shmuel 13:20. The Rambam however records the second reason-see Beis Shmuel ibid!
[7] Michaber ibid
[8] Rama ibid
Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that the two Adars count as two of the 24 months. [Michaber ibid]
[9] Michaber ibid; Tur ibid; Rambam Geirushin 11:25; Yevamos ibid
[10] Michaber ibid; Tur ibid; Rosh Kesubos 5:20
[11] Michaber ibid; Tur ibid; Rosh Kesubos 5:20