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Is setting an alarm on my phone a valid reminder to allow me to eat a meal before Maariv or before lighting Chanukah candles?

Yes.

See Yeshuos Chochmah 70:2; Halichos Shlomo 2:12; Piskeiy Teshuvos 235:8 footnote 55

Should one wear Shabbos clothing when lighting the Chanukah candles?

One wears one’s usual [weekday] hat and clothes and not his Shabbos garb.

Kav Hayashar 96; Yifei Laleiv 2:5; Kaf Hachaim 675:8; Sefer Haminhagim p. 158 [English]

Other customs: Some are accustomed to wear Shabbos clothing during the lighting. [Likkutei Maharich; See Sefer Yeish Nochalin of Shelah; Piskeiy Teshuvos 676:5]

Should one wash his hands before lighting Chanukah candles?

Some[1] are accustomed to wash their hands prior to lighting the candles. This is not required, and many are not particular to do so.

[1] See Admur 432:12; M”A 432 and Machatzis Hashekel ibid

People in my Shteible were going to Mikveh before Hadlakas Neiros Chanukah? Is this an Inyan and is this the Chabad custom?

Some[1] indeed are accustomed to immersing in a Mikveh prior to lighting. This is not a Chabad custom.

[1] Tiferes Tzevi Y.D. 27; Piskeiy Teshuvos 676 footnote 24

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