Overview
Chapter 15 moves from the obligations of marriage to one of its central goals:
Priah V’Riviah (the mitzvah of having children).
The Rambam discusses:
- The mitzvah of procreation
- When the obligation begins
- How it is fulfilled
- Childlessness after ten years
- Infertility claims
- Continuing to have children after fulfilling the mitzvah
- Ethical guidance for husbands and wives
The chapter concludes with some of the Rambam’s most famous teachings about how spouses should treat one another.
- Onah and the Mitzvah of Having Children
A wife can waive her right to onah after marriage.
However, this is only true when the husband has already fulfilled:
The mitzvah of Priah V’Riviah.
If he has not yet fulfilled it:
He may not refrain from marital relations.
Because he still has a Torah obligation to have children.
- Who Is Commanded in Priah V’Riviah?
The Rambam rules:
The obligation falls on the man, not the woman.
This follows the Talmudic understanding that the command “Be fruitful and multiply” is directed to men.
- When Does the Obligation Begin?
The Rambam writes:
A young man should marry around:
Age 17.
Once he reaches:
Age 20
without marrying,
he is neglecting a positive commandment.
Exception: Torah Study
Someone deeply engaged in Torah learning may delay marriage if he fears marital responsibilities will seriously disrupt his learning.
The Rambam applies here:
“One who is occupied with one mitzvah is exempt from another.”
- The Exceptional Case of Ben Azzai
The Rambam cites the famous model of:
Ben Azzai.
Someone whose soul is completely attached to Torah study and whose entire existence is devoted to it may remain unmarried.
But only if:
His desires do not overpower him.
If temptation exists, marriage becomes obligatory.
- How Is the Mitzvah Fulfilled?
The Rambam rules:
A son and a daughter.
This fulfills the Torah command.
The source:
“Male and female He created them.”
Cases That Do Not Fulfill the Mitzvah
If:
- The son is incapable of procreation.
- The daughter is an aylonit.
then the mitzvah has not been fulfilled.
The issue is continuity of future generations.
- Grandchildren Count
Suppose:
- A son and daughter were born.
- The children later died.
- They left descendants.
The mitzvah remains fulfilled.
Because:
Grandchildren are considered like children.
Important Limitation
The descendants must continue the male-female pattern of family continuity.
The Rambam analyzes several family structures to define when this condition is met.
- Children Born Before Conversion
A non-Jew who had children before converting and then converted:
Has fulfilled Priah V’Riviah.
Because the biological continuity already exists.
Former Slave
An eved who had children before emancipation:
Has not fulfilled the mitzvah.
Since halachically, while enslaved, he lacked the necessary legal family status.
- Whom One Should Not Marry
A man who has not fulfilled the mitzvah may not knowingly marry a woman incapable of bearing children, such as:
- An infertile woman
- A very elderly woman
- An aylonit
- A girl too young for childbirth
unless:
- He already fulfilled the mitzvah, or
- He has another wife through whom he can fulfill it.
- Ten Years Without Children
One of the chapter’s major laws:
If a couple remains married:
Ten years
without children,
the husband must either:
- Divorce and pay the Ketubah, or
- Marry another woman capable of childbearing.
Court Enforcement
If he refuses:
The court compels him.
The Rambam states that coercion may be used until he complies.
- Living Together Without Relations
The husband cannot avoid the issue by saying:
“We’ll continue living together but simply not have relations.”
The court rejects this arrangement.
The mitzvah demands practical action.
- Determining the Cause of Infertility
The Rambam distinguishes between cases.
If the husband’s fertility appears normal:
The presumed problem lies with the wife.
In such a case:
She leaves without the principal Ketubah.
However:
She receives the additional Ketubah (tosefet).
If the Husband Is the Cause
If the husband cannot father children:
When he divorces:
He pays the full Ketubah, principal and addition.
- Wife’s Testimony
When husband and wife disagree:
The husband says:
“The problem is hers.”
The wife says:
“He does not function normally.”
The Rambam believes the wife.
Why?
Because:
She can personally perceive matters relating to conception that he cannot assess in the same way.
- A Wife May Seek Divorce for Childlessness
Even though she is not commanded in Priah V’Riviah,
she can demand divorce after ten childless years.
Why?
Because she legitimately desires children for:
- Family continuity
- Support in old age
The court recognizes this need.
What Does She Receive?
If she initiates the claim solely to have children:
She receives the principal Ketubah.
But not necessarily the additional amount.
- What Does Not Count Toward Ten Years?
Certain periods are excluded.
For example:
- Extended travel
- Serious illness of husband
- Serious illness of wife
- Imprisonment
These periods are removed from the calculation.
The ten years must reflect a realistic opportunity for conception.
- Miscarriages
A miscarriage resets the count.
The ten years begin again from the miscarriage.
Three Consecutive Miscarriages
If she miscarries three times:
A presumption develops that successful childbearing may not occur.
The husband may then be required to divorce and pay the Ketubah.
- Credibility Regarding Miscarriages
The Rambam generally accepts the woman’s testimony regarding:
- Whether miscarriages occurred
- How many occurred
because people normally do not volunteer information that damages their own position.
- Marriage After Two Childless Marriages
Suppose:
Marriage #1:
- Ten years
- No children
Marriage #2:
- Ten years
- No children
Afterward:
She should not marry a third husband.
A strong presumption has developed.
If she does marry again, the consequences vary depending on the husband’s existing fulfillment of the mitzvah.
- Claims of Male Infertility
If a wife comes to court claiming:
“My husband cannot father children.”
The judges try initially to reach compromise and peace.
They do not rush to coercive rulings.
Marriage is preserved whenever possible.
- Continuing to Have Children
Even after fulfilling the Torah command with a son and daughter:
The Rambam writes:
One should continue having children as long as possible.
This is a Rabbinic obligation.
His remarkable expression:
“Whoever adds one Jewish soul is as if he built an entire world.”
- Not Remaining Unmarried
The Sages taught:
A man should not remain without a wife.
Likewise:
A woman should not remain without a husband.
This provides:
- Stability
- Protection from improper thoughts
- Proper social standing
- Jealousy and Marital Respect
The Rambam now turns from law to character.
A husband should:
- Care about his wife’s conduct
- Avoid excessive suspicion
- Avoid excessive jealousy
Balance is required.
- Mutual Consent
The Rambam strongly states:
A husband should not force intimacy upon his wife.
Rather:
Relationships should occur with her consent, through affection, conversation, and joy.
This is one of the Rambam’s most significant ethical teachings about marriage.
- Guidance for the Wife
The Rambam advises that a wife should:
- Be modest
- Avoid manipulative withholding of affection
- Avoid behavior likely to provoke jealousy
- Distance herself from improper situations
The goal is preservation of harmony and trust.
- The Rambam’s Famous Marriage Ideal
The chapter ends with one of the most celebrated passages in all of Mishneh Torah.
A Husband Should
- Honor his wife more than himself.
- Love her as himself.
- Increase her comforts according to his means.
- Not intimidate her.
- Speak gently.
A Wife Should
- Respect her husband greatly.
- Conduct family affairs responsibly.
- Work toward his welfare.
- Avoid what he reasonably dislikes.
The Rambam’s Vision
When both spouses follow these principles:
“Their dwelling will be pleasant and praiseworthy.”
Key Themes of Chapter 15
| Topic | Rambam’s Ruling |
| Who is obligated in Priah V’Riviah? | The man |
| Fulfillment of the mitzvah | One son and one daughter |
| Age to marry | Around 17; concern by 20 |
| Ben Azzai exception | Extraordinary Torah devotion |
| Ten childless years | Divorce or additional marriage |
| Wife’s claim of infertility | Generally believed in certain intimate matters |
| Grandchildren count | Yes |
| Continue having children after fulfillment | Rabbinic mitzvah |
| Force in intimacy | Forbidden |
| Husband’s ideal behavior | Honor more than himself, love as himself |
| Wife’s ideal behavior | Deep respect and partnership |
Chapter Theme
Chapter 15 combines law and philosophy. It begins with the technical requirements of the mitzvah of procreation and the treatment of infertility, but ends with the Rambam’s vision of an ideal Jewish marriage: a home built not merely on legal obligations, but on dignity, affection, gentleness, respect, and mutual devotion.