Chapter 5: The Matters forbidden for an Avel During Shiva
- Overview
A mourner is forbidden 11 activities:
- Cutting hair
- Laundering clothes
- Washing or anointing
- Sexual relations
- Wearing shoes
- Performing work
- Studying Torah
- Standing bed upright (must overturn)
- Leaving head uncovered
- Greeting others
- Engaging in frivolity or celebrations
On the first day, these are Scriptural; on the remaining seven days, Rabbinic.
- Cutting Hair
- Source: Leviticus 10:6.
- Includes head hair, beard, and body hair.
- Forbidden to cut or trim; nails may not be cut with a utensil (biting is allowed).
- If haircut started before hearing of death, may finish.
- Laundering Clothes & Washing
- Source: II Samuel 14:2.
- Forbidden to launder or wear freshly pressed white clothes.
- Washing/anointing entire body forbidden; permitted to wash face, hands, feet in cold water.
- Removing filth is allowed.
- Anointing
- Forbidden even partially, except to remove dirt.
- Washing is considered part of anointing.
- Sexual Relations & Marriage
- Source: II Samuel 12:24.
- Forbidden to engage in relations or marry during mourning.
- May remain in solitude with spouse.
- Wearing Shoes
- Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
- Forbidden except when traveling; must remove upon entering a city.
- Performing Work
- Source: Amos 8:10.
- Forbidden to work, trade, or travel for business.
- First 3 days: even poor cannot work.
- After 3 days: indigent may work privately at home.
- Women may spin fabric at home.
- Partners must close store for 7 days.
- Tasks allowed via others to prevent financial loss (e.g., olives, flax).
- Sharecroppers may work; renters may continue if pre-arranged.
- Torah Study
- Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
- Forbidden to read Torah, Prophets, Mishnah, Midrash, Halachot.
- If many need instruction, may whisper to a neighbor who relays to spokesman.
- Overturning Beds
- Source: II Samuel 13:31.
- Must overturn all beds in all homes.
- Exceptions: beds for storage, dargesh (release straps).
- Must sleep on overturned bed.
- Covering Head
- Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
- Must cover head and partially mouth with sash.
- Greeting Others
- Source: Ezekiel 24:17.
- First 3 days: do not respond to greetings.
- Days 4–7: respond if greeted.
- Days 7–30: may greet others, but others should not greet him.
- For parents: no greetings for 12 months.
- Avoid frivolity, laughter, and celebrations.