Farewell phrases:[1]
Judaism places significance not only on actions, but also on the words we use in daily life. Even common expressions, greetings, and farewells are discussed by Chazal and codified in Halacha. Among these is the proper phrase to use when parting from another person. The Gemara teaches that certain formulations of a farewell blessing are preferable and carry a more positive meaning than others. Based on Biblical examples and Talmudic teachings, the Sages established the appropriate wording to use when wishing another person success and protection on his journey. This section discusses the preferred farewell phrase, the distinction between “Lech L’Shalom” and “Lech B’Shalom,” the sources for this custom, its application in other languages, the differing views among the Poskim, and the practical ruling regarding those who inadvertently use a different expression.
The Preferred Farewell Phrase
Upon bidding farewell to another person he is to tell him “/לך לשלוםGo to peace” rather than “לך בשלוםGo in or with peace.”[2] This is likewise the Nussach in Tefillas Haderech.[3]
Does This Apply in Other Languages?[4] One is to follow this wording even when bidding farewell in languages other than Hebrew.
Is This an Absolute Requirement? Some Poskim[5] rule that the above wording of “”לך לשלום is only required for those who are superstitious against having the other wording used due to it being a bad omen in their eyes. If, however, one is not particular in this matter then one may use whatever wording he desires.[6] Practically, as is implied from Admur, the above wording of “/לך לשלוםGo to peace” is to be used by all people, however in the event that one was told “/לך בשלום/Go in or with peace” he should not be particular about this, and the matter will not damage him at all as stated in the Poskim above.[7]
Two-Sentence Summary
When bidding farewell to a living person, the preferred expression is “Lech L’Shalom” (“Go to peace”), based on the teaching of the Gemara and examples found in Tanach. Nevertheless, if someone says “Lech B’Shalom” (“Go in peace”), one should not be concerned, as many Poskim rule that no harm results from its use.
Quick Reference
| Situation | Preferred Phrase |
| Parting from a living person | Lech L’Shalom |
| Traveler departing | Lech L’Shalom |
| Wording of Tefillas Haderech | “To peace” |
| Other languages | Follow the same concept |
| If told “Lech B’Shalom” | No concern |
| Speaking of a deceased person | Lech B’Shalom |
Practical Examples
Example 1
A friend leaves for a business trip. The proper farewell is:
“Lech L’Shalom.”
Example 2
A parent sends a child off to yeshivah and says:
“Go to peace and success.” This follows the preferred formulation.
Example 3
Someone mistakenly says:
“Lech B’Shalom.”
The listener should not be worried and may simply accept the blessing.
Example 4
When reciting Tefillas Haderech, a traveler notes that the prayer repeatedly asks Hashem to lead and bring him to peace, reflecting the same principle.
Example 5
When referring to a deceased individual, the traditional phrase is:
“Lech B’Shalom,”
which is the expression designated by Chazal for one who has departed this world.
[1] Admur 110:9; M”A 110:9; M”B 110:17; Rebbe Avin in Brachos 64a and Moed Katan 29a; Shemiras Hanefesh 52; Kaf Hachaim Y.D. 116:160; See Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 80 footnote 3; Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vihanefesh [Lerner] 95
[2] The reason: As Yisro told Moshe “/לך לשלוםGo to peace” [Shemos 4:8] and Moshe went and had continuous success. However David told Avshalom “/לך בשלוםGo in/with peace” [Shmuel 2:15] and he went and was hung. [Poskim ibid; Gemara ibid] When parting however from a dead person one is to say to him “לך בשלום/Go with peace” [Gemara ibid; Rambam Shoftim Avel 4:4] Several reasons have been offered behind this wording: 1) The reason why one is to say “Go to peace” when parting from a live person is because this implies that he is to have additional peace, while the wording of “Go with peace” implies that he should only go with the peace that he currently has. [Iyun Yaakov Brachos ibid in Pirush Hakosev and Anaf Yosef; Toras Menachem 1992 vol. 2 p. 248] 2) Alternatively, in truth there is no difference in positive or negative connotation between the two words, as we find many people in scripture who used both words, and even David Hamelech used it. Nonetheless, the term of “go to peace” is preferred as it is a message to the person leaving that he should go “to perform peace”, such as peace between couples and friends, and hence since he is being sent on a mission for peace, he will not be injured on his journey. [Iyun Yaakov Brachos ibid] 3) Alternatively, “go in peace” implies that only the journey is to be in peace while “go to peace” implies that he should find peace by his destination. [Maharsha Brachos ibid]
[3] “To lead us to peace and direct our steps to peace; to guide us to peace, to support us to peace, and to bring us to our destination in life, joy, and peace (one who intends to return that day says/and return us to peace).”
[4] Piskeiy Teshuvos 110:9; Ahalecha Beamasecha 8:13
[5] Nimukei Yosef and Ran Moed Katan ibid; Darkei Moshe Y.D. 403; Orach Mishur on Darkei Moshe ibid; Likkutei Maharich p. 108b; Kaf Hachaim ibid
[6] The proof: As we find many people who used this term, such as Yaakov Avinu said “Veshavti Beshalom El Beis Avi”, and even Yisro said “Vegam Kol Haam Hazeh Al Mikomo Yavo Beshalom”. Likewise Akish said to David “Go and return with peace” [Shmuel 1 29] [Orach Mishur ibid]
[7] Likkutei Maharich p. 108b; Shemira Meialya on Shemiras Hanefesh 33; Kaf Hachaim Y.D. 116:160