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3. Special occasions for Onah [intimacy] obligations:

C. Travel – Obligation of intimacy before and after traveling:[1]

Night before traveling:[2] Every man is obligated to have marital relations[3] with his wife [on the night[4]] before he travels out of town [away from his wife, or on the day of travel[5]], unless he is traveling for the purpose of a Mitzvah [or if his wife is impure, or he appeases his wife in other ways and she forgives his obligation with a full heart[6]], as explained below.[7] [Doing so draws down a spark of the Shechina which escorts the person during his travel.[8] This obligation is similar to the obligation of intimacy on the night of Tevila.[9] The same applies if the wife travels out of town, away from her husband, then he should have intercourse with her the night before she leaves.[10] The above obligation applies even if one already fulfilled his minimum Onah of twice a week.[11] In addition to this intimacy, possibly, one is obligated to fulfill his minimum frequency of Onah, as stated above in Halacha 2, and it does not come to subtract from it.[12]]

The law if the night before travel is a Yom Chashash:[13] One who is traveling is [Rabbinically[14]] obligated to have marital relations with his wife [the night[15]] before he travels [or on the day of travel[16]], even if it is her Chashash Veses [so long as she does not feel symptoms of immediate onset of her period[17]].[18] This is a Mitzvah and an obligation.[19] Nevertheless, one who is stringent to avoid relations, and will rather appease her in other ways[20] [until she agrees to forgive his obligation of intercourse[21]], is blessed.[22] In this scenario, there is no need to be stringent against hugging and kissing [and hence, certainly one may use this as a method to appease his wife instead of actual intercourse, if she agrees].[23] [If, however, she does not agree to forgive the intercourse, or does not agree with a full heart, then he remains obligated in actual intercourse even if he tried appeasing her with words of affection, hugging and kissing.] If one is traveling for a Mitzvah, he is not required to have Tashmish before traveling [and hence is prohibited from doing so on a Yom Chashash].[24] [If she is traveling, then they may not have intercourse on a Chashash Veses.[25] Likewise, upon his return home, they may not have intercourse if it is a Chashash Veses.[26] In all cases that the couple intends to engage in intercourse prior to travel, even though it is a Yom Chashash, the wife is obligated to perform a Bedika prior to the onset of marital relations to verify that she is indeed pure.[27] Some Poskim[28] rule that since the above law (of having intimacy prior to travel even on a Yom Chashash) is in truth under Halachic debate, therefore, it is best to initially avoid it. Hence, the husband or wife is to avoid planning travel on the night/day after a Chashash Veses.]

Upon coming home from travel:[29] Just as one is required to have intimacy prior to travel, so too, after one returns home from travel, he is obligated to have intercourse with his wife in order to increase in a holy intimacy and Shalom Bayis. There is great reward given for this, and if she becomes pregnant, the child will receive a very holy soul. This Onah is considered similar to the Onah of Friday night.

One who is travelling by foot: One is not to have relations on the day of travel if he is traveling by foot. This applies whether on the day of leaving for travel or the day of return from travel. See Chapter 4 Halacha 7 for the full details of this matter.

Traveling for purpose of a Mitzvah:[30] One who is traveling for the sake of a Mitzvah [such as Pidyon Shvuyim[31]] is not obligated to be intimate with his wife on the night prior to travel[32] [if he already fulfilled his minimum Onah requirement for that period of time,[33] and his travels will be potentially ruined if he does so or he is too overwhelmed with his travel itinerary to focus on intimacy[34]].[35] [However, one who is traveling for business purposes, is required to have intercourse with his wife the night before travel, even though it is technically also considered for the sake of a Mitzvah.[36] Likewise, one who is being paid for his Mitzvah travel activity, such as a fundraiser who takes a percentage of the donations, is obligated to have marital relations with his wife the night prior to travel.[37]]

Q&A What is the definition of travel in the above regard?[38] Some Poskim[39] rule that the definition of travel in the above regard is a person traveling the distance of 12 Mil [i.e. 11.5 kilometers]. Other Poskim[40] rule that if one travels for three days then it is considered a real travel for the above purpose. Practically, however, in today’s times of modern transportation, travel is defined as one who leaves home for a long enough time that he will skip over his wife’s minimum Onah [i.e. twice a week for most people, and so if he is traveling for six or more nights, then he would be obligated in intimacy before leaving].[41] Likewise, if he is traveling to the Diaspora in a way that there is much excitement about his travels, and his wife will long for him, then he is to perform Onah on the night before, even if he is traveling for a short time.[42] Thus, each husband is to measure the level of his wife’s longing for him, due to the travel, and have intimacy with her based on this. If a husband works in a different city than his family and returns home only for the weekends, is he obligated in Onah each night prior to leaving and upon his night of return?[43] Yes, as stated above.        If the couple is traveling together, must they have intimacy the night before?[44] No. The above obligation only applies when the husband [or wife] is traveling alone away from home. If, however, they are traveling together as a couple, then there is no obligation of intimacy. This applies even if they will be unable to have intimacy during their travels.   What is one to do if his wife is a Niddah prior to travel?[45] In such a case, one is to appease his wife verbally prior to travel [and so was the custom of the Rebbe Rashab[46]]. It goes without saying that it remains forbidden to engage in any contact which is normally forbidden during the Niddah period.[47] If one is traveling to the Kever of a Tzadik, is he required to have intercourse with his wife the night before travel? In such a case, some Poskim[48] rule that it is considered as if he is traveling for the purpose of a Mitzvah. May one travel from home prior to his wife’s night of Mikveh?[49] It is forbidden for one to travel from home within a single Onah [which is 12 hours[50]] from when his wife plans to immerse in a Mikveh, and rather, he must wait for her to immerse [unless he appeases her with words and she forgives him with a complete heart[51]].[52] [Thus, if she is immersing on Wednesday evening, then he may not travel starting from Wednesday morning, within 12 hours prior to the time of her immersion. However, he may travel from home prior to this time even though it will cause him to miss her Mikveh night.] However, he may travel from home even the day of his wife’s immersion, if he is doing so for the sake of a Mitzvah [as defined in the Halacha above].[53] The same applies if he is traveling due to a real emergency.[54] If the wife is traveling:[55] Just as a man may not travel on that day which his wife intends to immerse, so too, the wife may not travel within 12 hours of her upcoming Mikveh night, unless her husband forgives her and agrees for her to go. If one already traveled away from home for a short trip and then decided to make it a longer trip, must he first return home to be with his wife?[56] No, unless he is a short distance away.

When is one to have intimacy prior to travel, during the daytime on the day of travel or on the night before?[57] If traveling from home during daytime: Some Poskim[58] learn that the obligation of the husband to be intimate with his wife prior to travel applies during the actual daytime of travel [assuming a dark room is available], and not the night before. Other Poskim,[59] however, rule that being intimate the night before also fulfills one’s obligation. Practically, [due to the general avoidance of intimacy during daytime, and the possible cases of prohibition] the husband is initially to be intimate with his wife the night prior to travel.[60] However, in the event that he was not intimate with her the night before and he is traveling that day before nighttime, then he is required to be intimate with her during the daytime, if they have a dark room available, as explained in Chapter 3 Halacha 1. See, however, Chapter 4 Halacha 7 regarding if he will be traveling by foot [such as a hike], in which case most Poskim rule that intimacy is forbidden during the day of travel. If traveling at night:[61] All the above is discussing a case that one is leaving home during daytime. If, however, he is leaving home during the night, then he is to have intimacy that night prior to leaving. The law by a Veses: In the event that a Chashash Veses occurs on the day of travel and not the night before, then certainly the couple is to place effort towards having intimacy on the night before travel, as stated above. However, if this was not done, then they may do so on the day of travel, as stated in the Halacha above [see there!]. If the Veses occurs on the night before the day of travel, then seemingly in such a case it is preferred for them to have intimacy on the day of the travel inside a dark room, and not on the night of the Veses. If, however, this will be difficult or impractical, then they may do so on the night before travel, even though it is a Veses, as explained above. If the Veses occurs on the night of travel itself [he is traveling at night], then they are to have intimacy that night, as explained above. [See coming Q&A for sources on this matter!] If one did not have intimacy on the night before travel must he do so that day? Yes, if a dark room is available, as explained in the previous Q&A. If one already had intimacy two nights before travel, must he also do so the night before travel?[62] Yes. If having intimacy the night before travel will cause him to be a Ba’al Keri without ability to immerse in a Mikveh, must he nevertheless be intimate with his wife?[63] Yes. However, if she forgives him wholeheartedly, then he is exempt from intimacy. In all cases he can simply purify himself through taking a shower, as explained in Halacha 5A in Q&A!

Q&A on traveling by Chashash Veses If the wife begins feeling physical symptoms of her upcoming period, such as headaches or stomach cramps and the like, may they nonetheless engage in intimacy on the night prior to travel if it is a Chashash Veses?[64] If she begins feeling symptoms that she knows come immediately prior to the start of her period, then they may not engage in intercourse. [If, however, the symptoms are simply a sign that the period is around the corner, and may come within a day or two, then they may engage in intimacy.[65]]   Must the wife do a Bedika prior to intimacy if they plan to have relations prior to travel, and it is a Yom Chashash? In all cases that the couple intends to engage in intercourse prior to travel, even though it is a Yom Chashash, the wife is obligated to perform a Bedika prior to the onset of marital relations to verify that she is indeed pure.[66] Seemingly, this applies even if they are having intercourse prior to the arrival of the exact hour of her Veses.[67]   If the Veses occurs on the day of travel, when is the couple to have relations, the night before or on the day of travel? In the event that a Chashash Veses occurs on the day of travel and not the night before, then certainly the couple is to place effort towards having intimacy on the night before travel, as stated above.[68] However, if this was not done, then they may do so on the day of travel, as stated in the Halacha above [see there!].   If the Veses occurs on the night before the day of travel, when is the couple to have relations, the night before or on the day of travel? If the Veses occurs on the night before the day of travel, then seemingly in such a case it is preferred for them to have intimacy on the day of travel inside a dark room, and not on the night of the Veses.[69] If, however, this will be difficult or impractical, then they may do so on the night before travel, even though it is a Veses, as explained above.[70]   If the Veses occurs on the night of travel, when is the couple to have relations, the night before travel, on the day of travel, or on the night of travel? If the Veses occurs on the night of travel itself [he is traveling at night], then they are to have intimacy that night, as explained above.

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[1] See Menoras Hamaor Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:1; Nitei Gavriel Niddah 2 101; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:6; Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] p.  130-148 

[2] Michaber O.C. 240:1; Y.D. 184:10; E.H. 76:4; Tur 240:1 and 5 and E.H. 25:2; Yevamos 62b

[3] Michaber ibid uses the word Pekida; Rama Y.D. 184:10 that this includes even Tashmish; Beis Yosef Y.D. 184 that so is opinion of Rashba, Ra’avad, and Rabbeinu Yerucham

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that there is no obligation to have intercourse but rather simply to appease her. [Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Tam Yevamos ibid; Sefer Hateruma Niddah 93; Rosh Yevamos 6:10, brought in Admur 184:34]

[4] See Q&A below for sources and regarding doing it during daytime!

[5] See Q&A below for sources and regarding doing it during daytime on the day of travel.

[6] Admur Y.D. 184:33 [regarding Veses]; M”A 240:29; P”M 240 A”A 4; Beir Heiytiv 240:1; M”B 240:11; Kaf Hachaim 240:20; Tahara Kahalacha 21:2; Nitei Gavriel 101:9; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:20; See Halacha 6A!

Not to initially rely on Mechila: Although from the letter of the law Mechila certainly helps in such a case, it is not proper for one to try to get his wife to be Mochel, and he should try to have actual intimacy, unless it is her Chashash Veses, as explained next. [See Maharam Brisk 3:30; Nitei Gavriel 101:10]

[7] The source: As the verse [Iyov 5:24] states “Viyadata Ki Shalom Ahalecha Ufakad’ta Nav’cha Velo Secheta.” [Yevamos ibid]

The reason: As one’s wife desires him at this time and the Sages commanded us to fulfill their desire. [Admur 184:31; Rashi Yevamos ibid] When one does so it prevents both he and his wife from forbidden thoughts and adulteress relationships. [Levush Y.D. 184:10]

[8] Or Tzadkim 27:17; Siddur Arizal of Rav Shabsi Miroshkov 2 Seder Hashekiva 42b

[9] Kaf Hacahim 240:18

[10] Darkei Teshuvah 184:46 in name of Nachalah Leyisrael Tefila Lemoshe 2 that perhaps there is a slight obligation to do so even when she travels [He depends it on her purpose of travel and whether she has longing for him upon leaving]; Shiureiy Shevet Halevy 184:10-1; Mishneh Halachos 9:177; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:6; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:15; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 101:8 footnote 11

The reason: Although one can argue that he is exempt if his wife is traveling and the obligation only applies when he travels, nonetheless it should be done in order to save them from sinful thoughts. [Poskim ibid]

[11] Implication of Michaber ibid; M”A 240:4 regarding “Mikashetes Atzmah, and the same applies regarding travel; P”M 240 A”A 4; Beir Heiytiv 240:4; M”B 240:11; Ma’amar Mordechai 240:1; Kaf Hachaim 240:20;

[12] Possible understanding of Michaber and all Poskim ibid; So written regarding Mikveh, and seemingly the same would apply here: Suggestion in Ashel Avraham Butchach Tinyana 240:2; Taharas Yisrael 2 240:1-12; Meiy Hada’as Inyanim Shonim 12 p. 55; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 1:1 footnote 1

[13] Michaber Y.D. 184:10; Tur 240:5; Yevamos 62b and Rashi there; See Tahara Kahalacha 24:108; Nitei Gavriel 102; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:8-10

[14] Implication of Admur Y.D. 184:33 “Certainly by a Rabbinical command” and 184:31 “The Sages instructed.”; Achi’ezer 3:83; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 4 footnote 5; Nonetheless, as explained below from Achi’ezer ibid, although the obligation is Rabbinical, nonetheless one who does so fulfills a Biblical Mitzvah.

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that having intimacy with one’s wife when she desires him is a Biblical obligation upon the husband and is included within the Biblical prohibition of Oansa Lo Sigra. [Tur E.H. 25 in name of Ra’avad “Is the Mitzvah of Onah written in the Torah”; Da’as Torah 688:6 “Is included in Mitzvas Onah”; Igros Moshe E.H. 3:28 “This is the main Mitzvah of Onah… which is certainly a complete Biblical obligation”; See Chida in Kikar La’eden 277b; Birur Halacha 2 240:268] However, see Achi’ezer ibid who explains that although one who does so fulfills a Biblical Mitzvah, nonetheless the obligation is only Rabbinical, and so can be understood to also be the opinion of the Ra’avad and Tur ibid

[15] See Q&A below regarding doing it at nighttime versus during daytime, and in which cases one is to do so by night and in which case one is to do so by day.

[16] See Q&A below regarding doing it at nighttime versus during daytime, and in which cases one is to do so by night and in which case one is to do so by day.

[17] See Q&A!

[18] Michaber ibid; This is a Rabbinical obligation. [Admur 184/33]

The reason: As one’s wife desires him at this time and the Sages commanded us to fulfill their desire. [Admur 184:31] It is to be done even on a Chashash Veses being it is only Rabbinical. [Admur 184/32] Doing so draws down a spark of the Shechina at that time and while he travels. [Oar Tzadkim 27/17]

Which Veses: The above law applies by all Chashash Vesos, even Kavua, and certainly by the Onah Bienonis, of which some Poskim rule that there is no prohibition of intimacy at all so long as she does a Bedika. [See Sugah Beshoshanim 2:6; Nitei Gavriel 102:3; Admur 189:1 in Kuntrus Acharon according to majority of Rishonim, Tashmish is permitted during Onah Beinonis]

How can a Chashash Veses fall on Mikveh night: This can occur in a case that, shortly after Mikveh, the woman became impure with blood that is not considered period blood [such as a Kesem, or medical checkup, or Besulim blood] and her Mikveh night fell on the night of her Veses. However, if she saw blood of her period, or did a Bedika with blood, then since these sightings require calculation of Chashshos, it recalculates her previous Chashashos of Haflagah and Beinonis in a way that the Mikveh night cannot coincide with them. [See Rama 189:13; Tahara Kahalacha 24:31 and footnote 179, based on Bach; Sidrei Tahara189:13; Rav Akiva Eiger; Tzemach Tzedek Milu’im 44; See Biurim of Rav Farkash p. 774] However, regarding the Veses Hachodesh, although it is recalculated, she still suspects for her original Hachodesh date from her previous marking. [Rama 189:13] Thus if she received her period exactly 12 days prior to her Veses Hachodesh, then her Mikveh night can fall on the Veses Hachodesh, which is on the night of the 13th day after her period.

[19] Shach 184:27; Admur 184:32

[20] Such as by talking to her words of appeasement until she agrees to forgive his obligation of Tashmish. [Admur 184:33] From here it is understood that appeasing her with words of affection suffices, and he is not obligated to hug and kiss unless she is not satisfied otherwise.

[21] Admur ibid; See Halacha 6A! From Admur 184:33 and 35 it is understood that he must receive her actual Mechila for Tashmish, and it does not suffice for him to offer to give her affection by hugging and kissing.

[22] Rama ibid

The reason: As there are opinions which rule that the Mitzvah is not to have relations prior to travel but rather to appease her. [Admur 184:34; See Beis Yosef ibid in name of Rabbeinu Tam Yevamos ibid; Sefer Hateruma Niddah 93; Rosh Yevamos 6:10, brought in Admur 184:34] Now, the forgiveness of the wife [i.e. Mechila] helps even by a Biblical obligation of Onah, and certainly here by an obligation which is merely Rabbinical. [Admur 184:33; Piskeiy Dinim Tzemach Tzedek Yevamos 62b, p. 740; Pardes Rimonim in Sifsei Chacham 184:26]

[23] Admur 184:35; Shach 184:27; Ezer Mikodesh E.H. 25:6; Chochmas Adam 108:7; Igros Moshe E.H. 4:66; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:6 in his final ruling; See Nitei Gavriel 102:2; See previous footnotes that while this option is open, it is not an obligation to appease her with hugging and kissing, if she remains satisfied simply with words of appeasement

The reason: As there are opinions which always permit hugging and kissing on a Yom Chashash, hence certainly here one may be lenient being that there are opinions which rule even marital relations is a Mitzvah and an obligation. [Admur ibid]

Other opinions and the law if it can lead to erection or Zera Levatala: Some Poskim rule that it is initially forbidden to even hug or kiss his wife prior to travel, if it is a Chashash Veses, and thus he should initially try to suffice with appeasing her with words [if she is agreeable to be Mochel the intercourse]. [Taz 184:13; Meiy Niddah 184; Pardes Rimonim 184:13 in understanding of Taz 184:13; Conclusion of Nitei Gavriel ibid] Practically, if one suspects that hugging and kissing can lead to Zera Levatala, then it is best to appease her with words of affection and if this suffices for her to forgive him, then so be it. [Igros Moshe E.H. 1:68] Some extend this point and write that even if the hugging and kissing will lead to a mere erection, he is to avoid it and rather appease her with words. [Mishneh Halachos 9:178; Shefa Taharah 184:27] Other Poskim however are explicitly lenient, even if it can lead to an erection, that nevertheless hugging and kissing remains permitted and is a Mitzvah. [Igros Moshe E.H. 4:66] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:10

[24] Rama ibid

One who is traveling for the sake of business: See coming footnotes for a dispute regarding if business related travel is considered like for the need of a Mitzvah, and that practically we rule it is not. Nonetheless, regarding if the night before is a Chashash Veses, then seemingly in this case all the more so one should be stringent to avoid intimacy and appease his wife with words of affection and hugging and kissing. [See Nitei Gavriel 102:6]

[25] Darkei Teshuvah 184:46; Shiureiy Shevet Halevi 184:10-1; So would apply according to all Poskim in next footnote; Nitei Gavriel 102:8; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:15

The reason: Although in general we rule that he is to have intercourse with her before she travels, nonetheless, since this is not explicit in the Shulchan Aruch, therefore one may not do so if it is a Chashash Veses, and this leniency only applies when he travels. [Darkei Teshuvah ibid]

[26] Darkei Teshuvah 184:46; Bedek Habayis Reah 7:2; Ritva 15a; Rashbatz Niddah 15a; Beis David 184:10; Sidrei Taharah Chidud Halachos 15; Binas Adam 108:2 Halef Lecha Shlomo 220; Pischa Zuta 184:14; Mareh Yechezkla 46; Da’as Torah 184:10; Taharas Yisrael 240:85; Nitei Gavriel 102:5; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:19; See Da’as Torah 554:19 in name of Rashba 15

The reason: Although in general we rule that he is to have intercourse with her upon his return from traveling, nonetheless, one may not do so if it is a Chashash Veses, since this is not explicit in the Shulchan Aruch, and this leniency only applies prior to traveling and not upon arrival [Darkei Teshuvah ibid]

Hugging and kissing: Seemingly, one is even to avoid hugging and kissing in such a case. [See Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 21]

[27] See Q&A for the full details of this subject!

[28] Toras Hashelamim 184:19; Rashal in Biur of Semag; Pischeiy Teshuvah 184:23; Taharah Kehalacha ibid [see there footnote 172 and Admur 184:33]; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:12

[29] Zohar Kadosh Parshas Bereishis p. 50; Reishis Chochmah Sha’ar Hakedusha 16:46; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav; Rashba Niddah 15; Chavos Yair 184; Beir Heiytiv 240:49; Sheilas Ya’avetz 2:10 and Siddur Ya’avetz Mitos Kesef 6:3; Elya Raba in name of Kenses Hagedola 558:4; Sha’areiy Teshuvah 558:1; Chayeh Adam 136 Nishmas Adam 1; Kitzur SHU”A 155:2; Shulchan Shlomo 240:1; Derech Pikudecha L.S. 46:12; Taharas Yisrael 240:13; M”B 558:2 and Sha’ar Hatziyon 554:46; Kaf Hachaim 240:18; Many Poskim recorded in Nitei Gavriel 101:3 footnote 4; See Darkei Teshuvah 184:46; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:19; See also Sefer Shmuel 2 11:7-10 and Metzudos David ibid regarding Urya

[30] Michaber O.C. 240:1; E.H. 76:4; Rama Y.D. 184:10; Nitei Gavriel 101:4-6; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 15:5 

The law if one is traveling during daytime: Some Poskim rule that if one is traveling by daytime, then he is obligated in intimacy the night before (even if he is traveling for the sake of a Mitzvah) and it is only if he is traveling that night that he is also exempt that night. [Maharam Brisk 3:33] Practically, however, the simple implication of the Poskim is unlike this opinion. [See Tahara Kahalacha 24 footnote 175]

[31] Bach 240; Kaf Hachaim 240:19

[32] Regarding if he is obligated to be intimate on the night he arrives from travel: See Pischa Zuta 184:4 that he is exempt although see Nitei Gavriel 101 footnote 10 who questions this ruling

[33] So seems Pashut Peshat, as we never find that being involved in a Mitzvah gives one the right to nullify his minimum Biblical Onah obligations, and only in the case of travel which is a Rabbinical Onah did the Sages exempt it.

[34] See Admur 184:36; Nitei Gavriel Niddah 2 101:4; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[35] The reason: As one who is performing a Mitzvah is exempt from other Mitzvos. [Bach 240:1; See Admur 640:18] In addition, if he would be required to have intercourse, it may lead him to become lax in fulfilling the Mitzvah, and hence the Sages did not require it, in order to encourage his alacrity in Mitzvah fulfillment. [Bach ibid] See Kaf Hachaim 240:19

[36] Nimukeiy Yosef Yevamos 19b “Specifically for a Davar Reshus, such as if he is traveling for business”; Bach 240; Olas Tamid 240:1; Elya Raba 240:4; Kaf Hachaim 240:19; Shevet Halevi 3:190; Shiureiy Shevet Halevi p. 41 184:10-11; Tahara Kshalacha 21:2 footnote 8 and 24 footnote 175; See Admur O.C. 248:12-13 for a dispute on whether or not traveling for business is considered a Mitzvah and he concludes that “many Poskim rule that it is not considered a Mitzvah at all.” Rama O.C. 248:4; M”A 248:19; Mishneh Halachos 6:152; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:6

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even traveling for business, or to see a friend, is defined as the need of a Mitzvah. [Pischa Zuttah 184:4 in name of Gadol, brought and negated in Shiureiy Shevet Halevi ibid; Beis Lechem Yehuda 184:13; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 101 footnote 8]

[37] Admur 38:7; M”A 38:8; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:7

The law if one’s intent is for profit and also L’sheim Shamayim: Some Poskim rule that such a case is viewed as L’sheim Shamayim and he is exempt from fulfilling other Mitzvos. [Biur Halacha 38 “Hem”] Other Poskim rule that he is not exempt unless he does the work entirely L’sheim Shamayim. [Kesav Sofer 119; Aruch Hashulchan 38:11; implication of Admur ibid who omitted the words “main intent” which were written in the M”A ibid; See Chikrei Halachos 5:59; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid footnote 7; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 38:8 footnote 50]

[38] See Tahara Kahalacha 24 footnote 171; Nitei Gavriel 101:2; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:6; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:2 footnote 2

[39] Teshuvah Me’ahavah 1:34, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 184:24 [however see Minchas Yitzchak 6:17]

[40] See Maharsha Yevamos 62b that if he will return in a day or two then there is no need to have relations with her, which implies that if three days pass, then he is required to have relations with her

[41] Siddur Ya’avetz Leil Shabbos 2 [even regarding previous times] and Hagahos Ya’avetz on Yevamos ibid; Toras Chaim Sofer 240:4; Taharas Yisrael 240:13; Maharam Brisk 3:9; Minchas Yitzchak 6:17; Shevet Halevi 3:115; Az Nidbaru 6:71

[42] Shiureiy Shevet Halevi 184:3; Kanah Bosem Y.D. 185:6; Tahara Kahalacha ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[43] Nitei Gavriel 101:14 in name of Az Nidbaru 6:71 and his Rabbanim

[44] Ateres Zekeinim on Shulchan Aruch 240:15; Even Shoham 5; Nitei Gavriel 101:8; Piskeiy Teshuvos 240:6; Chosen Yeshuos 2:133; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:14

[45] Kaf Hachaim 240:17; Tosafos Yevamos 62; Tiferes L’moshe 184:10; Parrdes Rimonim 184:15; Nitei Gavriel 101:12; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:18

[46] Chosen Yeshuos 2:132 that when the Rebbe Rashab would travel he would have a cup of tea with his wife, prior to parting, and speak with her

[47] Pischeiy Teshuvah 195:1 in name of Chamudei Daniel; Nitei Gavriel 101:21

[48] Levushei Mordechai Tinyana 132; Nitei Gavriel 101:5; Birkeiy Yosef 568; Peri Ha’aretz E.H. 3:11; Sha’areiy Teshuvah 568:20; Sdei Chemed Eretz Yisrael 37; See however Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 372:2 in name of Batei Kehuna that he is unaware of what Mitzvah is involved in visiting Kivrei Tzadikim

[49] See Shiureiy Shevet Halevi p. 43; Tahara Kahalacha 21:2; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:16

[50] Admur 184:37; Shach 184:28 that it refers to a single Onah of night or day which is 12 hours; Peri Dei’ah, brought in Shiureiy Shevet Halevi ibid

[51] Tahara Kahalacha ibid; See Admur Y.D. 184:33

[52] Rama Y.D. 184:10; Nimueki Yosef Yevamos 19b

[53] Admur 184:38; Shach 184:28; Nimueki Yosef Yevamos 19b; Levush 184:10; See Admur 184:38

[54] Admur 184:38; Shach ibid

[55] Chasam Sofer Y.D. 2:162; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:17

[56] See Shiureiy Shevet Halevi 184 p. 40; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:3

[57] See Kaneh Bosem 184 on Shach 8; Tahara Kahalacha 124 footnote 175; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:4 footnote 5

[58] Taz 240:1; Conclusion of M”A 240:29 based on Matanos Kehuna on Bereishis Raba Parsha 64 [Toldos 4:5] that Chizkiyah had intimacy by daytime prior to travel; Brought in M”B 240:54; Menoras Hama’or Ner Gimel K’lal Vav 5:3 “He is not staying in the city until nighttime”; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid

[59] 1^st approach in M”A 240:29; Rama in Teshuvah 132-2; Levush 240:15, brought in Taz 240:1; Bach E.H. 25:3; Perisha E.H. 25:10; Ateres Zekeinim; Maharam Brisk 3:33; Kaf Hachaim 240:17 concludes to have intimacy the night before travel if not traveling by foot

[60] Kaf Hachaim ibid; Sheilas Moshe 1:421; Kaneh Bosem ibid; Tahara Kahalacha ibid; Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid; Nitei Gavriel 101:11; See Menoras Hama’or Ner Hashelishi 6 5:3 179

[61] Menoras Hama’or Ner Hashelishi 6 5:3 179

[62] Nitei Gavriel 101:11

[63] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 63:18

[64] Pardes Rimonim 184 Mikshe Zahav 14; Nitei Gavriel 102:7; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:13

[65] Implication of wording in Pardes Rimonim ibid

[66] Tiferes Lemoshe Y.D. 184:10; Sha’areiy Tohar 3:5; Nitei Gavriel 102:4; Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5:8; See Tahara Kahalacha 10:25 regarding a Kallah whose Onah Beinonis fell on the night of her wedding that a Bedika must be done even though we permit her to have Beilas Mitzvah on her Chashash Veses, and the same would apply in this case as well; Vetzaruch Iyun Gadol from Setimas Kol Haposkim [Michaber, Rama, Sach, Taz, Admur] and many Melaktim [Piskeiy Teshuvos, Tahara Kahalacha] who never mention this requirement! Perhaps one can indeed argue that in such a case a Bedika is not required at all, as the Sages did not suspect for the Veses in such a case. Nonetheless, by the Onah Beinonis, doing a Bedika would have an extra advantage as it fulfills the obligation according to majority of Rishonim, as rules Admur 189. Vetzaruch Iyun!

[67] Sheyikadesh Atzmo ibid; See Admur Y.D. 189:4 that the Bedika is to initially take place at the time of the Veses or afterwards

[68] See Maharam Brisk 3:33 that he is obligated to do so the night before a case when he is traveling during the daytime for the sake of a Mitzvah, and thus certainly here he would be required to do so in order to avoid the clash with the Veses; See Poskim ibid in previous Q&A that one fulfills his obligation also on the night before travel

[69] So rules Chosen Yeshuos 2:133 that in such a case they are to have intimacy by daytime and not on the night of the Veses; this follows the ruling of the M”A and Taz ibid [brought in previous Q&A regarding daytime] that there is no Mitzvah to do so the night before, but rather by day

[70] See Sheyikadesh Atzmo 5 footnote 8 that from the letter of the law one may do so the night before, as we mainly rule like those Poskim who rule that also the night before is included in the Mitzvah; See Otzros Taharah p. 728

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