Chapter 6: The laws of Keriah and Baruch Dayan Haemes

This article is an excerpt from our Sefer

Chapter 6: The laws of Keriah and Baruch Dayan Haemes[1]

 

Overview

The following is the practical order of the Keriah. Details of all these steps are expanded on in the chapter below.

 

Practical Seder of the Keriah and blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes:[2]

1. The Keriah is done by the funeral/burial.

2. It is not required for one to perform Keriah to the garments he wore at the time of death and he may change to lesser quality garments for the sake of the Keriah.

3. The mourners rise and stand in a row. The custom is to position the Aveilim to the left of the corpse during the Keriah.

4. A member of the Chevra Kadisha [or any individual] makes a small starter-cut on the lapel of the jacket and/or shirt with a razor or scissor. A male member of the Chevra Kadisha is to perform it on a male mourner and a female member of the Chevra Kadisha is to perform it on a female mourner.

5. The Avel then grabs the sides that were cut and says the blessing of Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name [if he did not say it beforehand].

6. The Avel then completes the rest of the tearing with his hand for the length of at least one Tefach [8 centimeters].

7. Women mourners are to have the torn area pinned together with a safety pin.

8. The torn garment is worn until after the burial, although the children of the deceased are to wear it until the end of Shiva.

 

Laws relating to the tear:

· One is obligated to perform the Keriah in a standing position.

· By an Avel for a parent, both the shirt and dress jacket [if worn] are torn. By an Avel for other relatives, only the dress jacket or only the shirt [if the Avel does not wear a dress jacket] is torn.

· The tear is made in the area that is parallel to the biceps and is to tear through the border area of the garment until the torn area of the garment splits into two parts. One is to tear the garment in its length and not in its width.

· The custom is that one who is an Avel for the passing of a mother or father tears the left side of his clothing and one who is a mourner for other relatives, such as for the passing of a sibling or child r”l, tears the right side of the clothing.

· One who is mourning other relatives must tear a Tefach [8 centimeters] worth of the clothing. One who is in mourning for a father or mother must tear a Tefach and more until his heart [or undershirt] is revealed.

· One who is mourning other relatives is to perform the Keriah in private, not in the presence of other people. However, one who is in mourning for a father or mother must perform the Keriah in public, in front of others.

· One who is mourning other relatives, may perform the tear either with his hands or with the help of a vessel [such as a knife or scissor]. However, one who is in mourning for a father or mother must perform the Keriah with his hands. The custom is for the Chevra Kadisha to begin the Keriah with a scissor and then have the mourner perform the rest of the Keriah.

· It is forbidden throughout the Shiva for male mourners to attach the torn parts of their garment together with a safety pin. Women are to immediately close the torn parts with a safety pin after the Keriah is done.

· After the Shiva is complete, one may dispose the torn garment.

 

Do we follow the lenient opinion in the laws of Keriah?[3]

The rule of following the lenient opinion in Aveilus does not apply towards the laws of Keriah.

1. The laws of Keriah:[4]

A. The Mitzvah:

It is a [Rabbinical[5]] obligation for an Avel to tear his clothing at the event of the passing of a relative for which he needs to keep Aveilus.[6] [One who does not perform Keriah is liable for death from heaven.[7]]

The purpose of the Keriah:[8]

Various reasons are suggested behind the Mitzvah of Keriah:

· Release pain:[9] The Keriah is designed to arouse within the mourner, and all those present, the ability to express their grief, and release the feelings of the heart.

· Distract him from pain:[10] The Keriah is done in order to remove the mind of the mourner from the death, and have him be disturbed over his torn clothing.

· Kabbalah:[11] The tearing of the clothing has Kabbalistic meaning, as clothing represent G-dliness.

· Tearing the evil decree:[12] When a relative passes away, the attribute of judgment hovers over all the relatives. The tearing represents the tearing of the evil decree against the remainder of the family.

B. Who is obligated in Keriah, and in what circumstances is it required?[13]

All family members that are obligated to mourn for the deceased relative are obligated to perform Keriah for the deceased relative. [These include the following relatives: Father, mother, son, daughter, spouse, brother and sister, including the half-brother and half-sister, whether single or married.[14]]

Women:[15] Women are obligated to perform Keriah just like men. However [due to reasons of modesty] there are certain differences in regard to how the Keriah is done, as will be explained.

Children:[16] A child [even below Chinuch[17]] whose relative passed away [for whom a person has to sit Shiva] is to have his garment torn by others.[18] [When tearing for a child who has not yet reached the age of Chinuch, one is to tear only a small amount [not a Tefach], however if the child has reached the age of Chinuch, then one is to tear a full Tefach.[19]]

Relatives of a child who died:[20] Relatives are to perform Keriah upon the passing of a child that is 31 days old or more. If however the child was possibly born prematurely [i.e. before the end of the 9th month, which is approximately before week 38[21]] and was less than 31 days of age, then Keriah is not to be performed.[22] If it was factually determined that the child was carried to term and born after a full nine months[23] [approximately 38 weeks], the relatives must perform Keriah even if the child passed away within 30 days of being born.[24]

Relatives of Aveilim:[25] It is no longer accustomed for relatives of the Aveilim to perform Keriah.

People who witnessed a Jew die:[26] From the letter of the law, everyone[27] who is present when a Jew passes away, whether male or female, is obligated to perform Keriah.[28] [Nevertheless, it is no longer accustomed for those who are present when a Jew passes away to perform Keriah.[29]]

One heard of a Jew that passed away:[30] It is not customary to perform Keriah upon hearing of the passing of a Kosher Jew, even if it is before the burial, and one is in the presence of the deceased, and the deceased was a Jew of virtue.

A Torah scholar/Rebbe: If a Torah scholar, who is one’s teacher, passed away, one is to perform Keriah.[31] This applies to one’s main teacher from whom one learned majority of his Torah.[32] It is disputed if the student is to tear all his garments just as is done by the tearing over the passing of a parent.[33] It is not customary to perform Keriah for the passing of a Torah scholar that is not ones [main[34]] teacher.[35]

Other occasions that Keriah is required: There are other occasions, besides for the death of a relative, that the Sages required one to perform Keriah. These are: 1) Major public tragedies, such as the death of many Jews during war, or Jews being taken into captivity.[36] 2) Birchas Hashem[37]; one who heard a Jew curse Hashem, irrelevant of language. 3) One who sees Tefillin or a Sefer Torah forcefully [i.e. purposely] burnt[38] or destroyed[39]. 4) One who sees the Temple mount [place of the Churban], or Yerushalayim and Judean cities in a destroyed state.[40] The tears that are done for these occasions may never be properly resewed.[41]

Performing Keriah when not required: It is forbidden, due to the prohibition of Baal Tashchis, for one to perform Keriah and tear a garment in cases that one is not required to do so according to Halacha.[42] However, one who is an Avel for a parent, or Gadol Hador, may be stringent upon himself.[43]

 

Q&A

May someone else tear the mourner’s garment, or must the mourner do it himself?

It is permitted to have another person do the Keriah on one’s garment that he is wearing.[44] Some Poskim[45] rule that one is even encouraged to have another person do so for him, being it causes greater anguish. Other Poskim[46] however rule it is better for one to perform the Keriah himself, as Mitzvah Bo Yoser Mibeshlucho. Practically, the custom is for another person to begin the Keriah [usually a member of the Chevra Kadisha] and then have the mourner perform the rest of the Keriah himself.[47] A male member of the Chevra Kadisha is used for a male mourner and a female member of the Chevra Kadisha is used for a female mourner.[48]

May an adopted son or daughter perform Keriah for a “relative”?[49]

It is forbidden for him/her to perform Keriah due to Baal Tashchis.

When is a Chasan or Kallah to perform Keriah?

In the event that the Shiva will begin only after the conclusion of Sheva Brachos, the Chasan or Kallah do not perform Keriah until after the Sheva Brachos, with the start of Shiva. See Chapter 13 Halacha 10C for the full details of this matter!

 

C. When is the Keriah done?[50] 

The Keriah must initially be done prior to the burial[51] of the corpse.[52] Furthermore, from the letter of the law, the Keriah is to be performed at the time of death, during the recital of Tziduk Hadin.[53] Practically, the custom is to delay performing the Keriah at the time of death and rather to perform the Keriah prior to the start of the funeral [i.e. prior to the corpse being removed from the funeral home or house[54]].[55] The Keriah is done at the same time that the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes is recited.[56] [The custom is to position the Aveilim to the left of the corpse during the Keriah.[57]]

Shabbos/Yom Tov: One does not perform Keriah on Shabbos or Yom Tov, even on the second day of Yom Tov in the Diaspora.[58] One who transgressed and performed the Keriah on Shabbos [or Yom Tov] nevertheless fulfills his obligation.[59] 

Chol Hamoed:[60] Some Poskim[61] rule that the mourning relatives are to perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed.[62] Other Poskim[63] rule that the custom is that the children of the deceased perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed while the other relatives who sit Shiva do so only after Chol Hamoed/Yom Tov. Practically, this is the custom [of German Jewry[64] and other communities[65], to have only the children of the deceased perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed], although a community that does not have a set custom [such as Polish Jewry[66]] is to have all the relatives perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed.[67] Likewise, if the Keriah will not be able to be performed after the Moed, all relatives are to do so on Chol Hamoed.[68] [After the funeral and burial the mourners are to remove their torn clothing and change back into Yom Tov clothing for Chol Hamoed.[69] After the Moed, those who are in mourning for a parent must switch back into their torn garment, and wear throughout the Shiva.[70]] It is forbidden for non-relatives, who are not obligated in Keriah, to perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed even if they wish to do so out of respect for the deceased.[71] The above ruling of doing Keriah on Chol Hamoed, only applies if one heard of the death within 30 days of the occurrence [i.e. Shemua Kerova], if however 30 days have already passed [from the time of death, i.e. Shemua Rechoka] then one does not perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed.[72]

 Q&A

If one did the Keriah at the time of the passing must he repeat it during the funeral/burial?

No. So long as a proper Keriah was performed and he did not change into a different upper garment, he is not required to perform a second Keriah at the time of the burial or funeral. This applies even if one did not say the blessing of Dayan Haemes at the time of the Keriah.

Keriah on Purim

When a funeral takes place on Purim the relatives are to do Keriah. Immediately after the funeral, they are to change their clothing.

 

D. Until when may the Keriah be performed?[73]

A relative who did not perform Keriah[74] [or did not perform the Keriah properly] at the proper time mentioned above, remains obligated to do so throughout the seven days of Shiva. If, however, seven days from burial have passed, then one who is mourning other relatives can no longer fulfill the Mitzvah of Keriah.[75] However, one who is mourning a father or mother and has not yet done Keriah to his upper clothing, remains obligated to perform Keriah of all his upper clothing, even after seven days from burial. This obligation of doing Keriah for the passing of a parent is eternal, without any time limit.

Doing Keriah if discovered the death much later:[76] If one heard of the passing and burial of a relative that is not a parent only after thirty days [from the death[77], i.e. Shemua Rechoka] he is not allowed to perform Keriah.[78] If, however, he heard within thirty days [i.e. Shemua Kerova], he remains obligated to perform Keriah. Regarding the passing of a parent, one remains obligated to perform Keriah upon discovering the news of their passing irrelevant of the amount of time that passed in the interim. [The Keriah is to be performed only on the clothing that he is currently wearing at the time of discovery, and does not have to be performed on clothing that he changes into later on.[79]]

Is the blessing of Dayan Haemes to be recited when doing Keriah during the Shiva, or later on?

One may say the blessing throughout the Shiva, so long as he still feels the pain. See Halacha 2 in Q&A for the full details of this subject!

E. What garment is one to tear?[80]

An Avel is required to tear the garment that he wears over his chest[81], such as a shirt and/or jacket and the like. There is a difference in law regarding one who is a mourner for a parent versus one who is a mourner for other relatives with regards to whether he is obligated to tear all of his upper clothing that cover his chest or not. Even in a case that one is required to tear all the upper clothing, or only the most upper clothing, that cover his chest, certain clothing is excluded, as will be explained below, and one cannot fulfill the Mitzvah of Keriah with such clothing.

One who is wearing more than one garment over his chest:[82] One who is an Avel for relatives other than a parent is only required to tear the most upper garment [that covers his chest].[83] [If he generally walks outside with a jacket as part of his dress code then he is to tear the jacket. If he walks outside with only a shirt, he is to tear the shirt.[84] He is not to tear more than one garment due to Baal Tashchis.[85]] One who is an Avel for a parent is obligated to tear all his upper garments [that cover his chest] until he reveals his heart. [Thus, if he is wearing two shirts, or a shirt and a jacket that requires Keriah[86], he must tear both shirts and the jacket.[87] He however is not required to tear his undershirt, as explained next, and hence “until he reveals his heart” is not to be taken literally.[88] Likewise, certain jackets are not required to be torn, as will be explained.] Even if he is wearing ten upper garments, he is required to tear every garment until his heart. If he does not tear all of his upper garments, he does not fulfill his obligation, and is to be chastised for not doing so. So long as he is still wearing the untorn garment, he is to be told to tear it even after Shloshim.

Clothing that do not require tearing-Jackets/undershirt:[89] One is not required to tear his “Afrakasuso.” Some[90] explain this to refer to an undershirt[91] which touches one’s chest and is worn and made to absorb sweat. Others[92] explain it refers to an upper garment that is called a Kafah. [This refers to any type of clothing that is only worn on occasion, or in specific circumstances, and is not part of one’s regular dress code.[93] This excludes from Keriah a rain jacket, winter jacket, suit jacket worn for weddings or a jacket worn only for Davening. It however does not exclude a jacket that is normally worn outside as part of one’s dress code, as is common amongst Charedi Jewry, and such a jacket requires Keriah.[94]] Practically, the Ashkenazi custom is not to tear either garment; neither the undershirt nor the occasional upper garment.[95] Thus, one who is in mourning for a parent is to tear all the clothing that cover his chest with exception to his undershirt, [Tallis Katan[96]], and his occasional upper garment [i.e. raincoat, overcoat, winter jacket]. One who is in mourning for other relatives is to only tear the most upper clothing that is under his occasional upper garment.[97] [If one tears the undershirt, or occasional upper garment, he does not fulfill his obligation.[98] It is forbidden to tear any garment that does not require Keriah due to Baal Tashchis.[99] However, one who is an Avel for a parent or Gadol Hador may be stringent upon himself.[100]]

If one already has a torn garment:[101] [One does not fulfill the Keriah obligation by wearing a pre-torn garment[102] and rather he must make a new tear in the garment.[103]] One who wears a previously torn garment and thus fools people into thinking that he performed Keriah, is considered to be stealing from the alive and the dead.

Stolen garment:[104] One who performed Keriah on a stolen garment does not fulfill his obligation.[105]

Borrowed garment:[106] One may not perform Keriah on a borrowed [or rented] garment, unless he received permission from the owner to do so. One who performed Keriah on a borrowed garment, is considered a robber and does not fulfill his obligation.[107]

Tearing a ribbon or attached cloth:[108] The modern innovation of using a ribbon for the Keriah is completely invalid and the Avel remains obligated to tear the actual upper garment that he is wearing. It also does not help to attach a piece of cloth to the shirt/jacket and then tear the cloth.

Summary:

Other relatives: One who is an Avel for relatives other than a parent is required to tear only the most upper garment that covers his chest, however not an upper jacket that is only worn for specific occasions. The custom is to tear the jacket that he wears upon going outside, and if he does not go outside with a jacket, then he is to tear his most upper shirt.

Children mourning passing of parent: One who is an Avel for the passing of a parent is obligated to tear all of his upper garments that cover his chest, with exception to his undershirt, Tzitzis, and jacket that is only worn on specific occasions.

 

Q&A

May one change to less valuable garments for the Keriah?[109]

It is not required for one to perform Keriah to the garments he wore at the time of death, and he may change to lesser quality garments for the sake of the Keriah.[110] [Some[111] write that one may even change to a freshly laundered/ironed garment for the sake of the Keriah.]

 

Must one tear his jacket?

If one is generally accustomed to wear a jacket upon leaving the home, as is common amongst Charedi Jewry, then the jacket requires Keriah according to Ashkenazi custom.[112] If one has several jackets that he wears for this purpose, then he may choose which jacket to wear and perform Keriah on, as explained above. This applies for all mourners, whether of a parent or of other relatives. One may not escape performing Keriah to a jacket by not wearing it when Keriah is performed being that it will require Keriah when one eventually wears the jacket.[113] All other jackets that one wears outside only on specific occasions; such as  a rain jacket, winter jacket, suit jacket worn for weddings, does not require Keriah even if one is wearing it at the time that Keriah is performed.

 

Must one tear his sweater?[114]

Some rule the sweater requires Keriah. Others rule the sweater does not require Keriah.[115]

 

Must one tear the Tallis Katan?

The Tallis Katan does not require Keriah.[116] Thus, one who is wearing a shirt, Tzitzis and undershirt will only tear his shirt [and/or jacket] and will not tear his undershirt or Tzitzis. Some Poskim[117] however are stringent and require the Tallis Katan to be torn in addition to the shirt [and/or jacket] if one is in mourning for the passing of a parent. Practically, the custom is not to tear the Tallis Katan, and so is the Chabad custom.

 

F. How to tear:

Where to tear:[118] One is to tear the front part of the garment in any area near the neck/collar. [Practically, the tear is made on the garment in the area that is parallel to the biceps.[119] The tear may be made also in the collar.[120]] If one tore the back, or sides, or bottom[121] of the garment, he does not fulfill his obligation [and is required to re-tear his garment, without repeating the blessing of Dayan Haemes].[122] One must tear the border area of the garment [i.e. Safah] until the torn area of the garment splits into two parts.[123] One may not make the tear in an area that was already torn and sewn, with exception to if it was sewn to the quality of an “Ichuiy Alexandri[124]”, and if he does so he does not fulfill his obligation.[125] [One is to tear the garment in its length and not in its width, and if he tore it in its width he does not fulfill his obligation and is to re-tear the garment properly.[126]]

Which side to tear; right or left:[127] From the letter of the law, one may make the tear on either side of the clothing, either right or left.[128] However, the custom is that one who is in mourning for the passing of a mother or father tears the left side of his clothing[129] and one who is a mourner for other relatives, such as a sibling or child r”l, tears the right side of the clothing. [In all cases, if one accidently tore on the wrong side, he nevertheless fulfills his obligation and is not required to make a new tear on the correct side.[130]]

Women:[131] A woman who is in mourning for the passing of a father or mother, and is hence required to tear all the clothing that cover her chest [other than her undershirt], is to first tear her lower garment [that is directly on top of the undershirt] and then turn the torn area around towards her back, and then tear the upper garment.[132] [Women are thus to wear an undergarment under the blouse, so that upon tearing the blouse or shirt, she is still dressed modestly.[133]]

Standing:[134] One is obligated to perform the Keriah in a standing position.[135] If the Keriah was done in a sitting position, he does not fulfil his obligation[136] and he must repeat the Keriah.[137] [It is likewise forbidden for one to lean on any item in a way that it supports him from falling, while performing the Keriah.[138]]

How much to tear:[139] One who is mourning relatives other than a parent must tear a Tefach worth of the clothing. [A Tefach is 8 centimeters.[140] He is not to tear more than a Tefach due to Baal Tashchis.[141] If one did not tear the right amount, he is to continue the tear until it is the right amount, if he remembers during the Shiva.[142]] One who is in mourning for a father or mother, must tear [even more than a Tefach if necessary[143]] until his heart [or undershirt[144]] is revealed. [If one did not tear the right amount he is to continue the tear until it is the right amount, whenever he remembers, for eternity.[145] When tearing for a child that has not yet reached the age of Chinuch then one is to tear only a small amount [not a Tefach], however if the child has reached the age of Chinuch, then one is to tear a full Tefach.[146]

In public:[147] One who is mourning relatives other than a parent is to perform the Keriah in private, not in the presence of other people. He is thus to enter his hand inside his garment and tear it privately. However, one who is in mourning for a father or mother, must perform the Keriah in public in front of others. [The Avel is thus not to enter a private room to do the Keriah. Likewise, he is to remove any winter/rain coats in order so the Keriah is visible to all. Some[148] write that even mourners of other relatives may do the Keriah in public, if he so chooses. Some[149] write that women are to perform the Keriah of the lower garment in as much privacy as possible due to Tznius.]

Hand versus scissor:[150] One who is mourning relatives other than a parent may perform the tear either with his hands or with the help of a vessel [such as a knife or scissor]. However, one who is in mourning for a father or mother, must perform the Keriah with his hands. [If it is difficult to tear it with one’s hand one may begin to tear it with a vessel, such as a scissor, and then tear the remainder with his hand.[151] Practically, the custom is for the Chevra Kadisha to begin the Keriah with a scissor, and then have the mourner perform the rest of the Keriah.[152]]

 

G. Changing Garments-Must one remain wearing the Keriah garment throughout Shiva?[153]

It is always permitted for an Avel to change clothing even during Shiva, provided the clothing are not freshly laundered, ironed or new, as explained in Chapter 19 Halacha 11G. The question however is asked regarding whether the Avel must perform a new Keriah to the clothing he changed into, or if the Keriah is only required to be done one time. In this regard, there is a difference in law between the type of mourner and his relationship to the deceased.

Other relatives:[154] One who is in mourning for relatives other than a father or mother, may change [after the burial[155]] from his torn clothing into untorn clothing [that is not freshly laundered, ironed or new[156]]. This applies even during the Shiva [even on the first day of Shiva].[157] There is no need to tear the clothing that he changes into, even during Shiva.

Children who are in mourning of a parent:[158] One who is in mourning for the passing of a father or mother is required to wear torn upper garments throughout the entire Shiva. Thus, although he may change even during Shiva from his Keriah garment into a different garment [that is not freshly laundered, ironed or new[159]], he must perform a new Keriah onto all the upper clothing that he changes into. This applies only during the Shiva, while after the Shiva he may change into untorn garments and is not required to tear them. [Some Poskim[160] rule this applies to all upper garments that one changes into during Shiva. Other Poskim[161], however, rule it only applies to new garments that the Avel has never yet worn, however old garments that it is known that the Avel wore prior to his parent’s death may be worn without Keriah even during Shiva. Practically, one is to be stringent unless it is a time of need.[162] It is permitted for the Avel to put on clothing for additional warmth, such as a sweater, jacket and the like, without performing Keriah.[163]]

Shabbos and Chol Hamoed:[164] On Shabbos [and Chol Hamoed[165]] one is not to wear a torn garment. This applies even according to those who follow the ruling of wearing weekday clothing on Shabbos during Shiva, nevertheless they are to change into an untorn weekday garment for Shabbos.

After Shiva:[166] Once the Shiva has concluded, it is permitted [and encouraged[167]] for an Avel even of a parent to remove the torn garment and wear untorn clothing. [This applies starting from after Shacharis of the seventh day of Shiva.[168]]

Turning the tear around:[169] One who is mourning relatives other than a father or mother may turn the garment around so that the torn area is by his back and not by his front. One who is mourning a father or mother, may not turn the torn side around to his back throughout the Shiva.

 Q&A on children of deceased

If one who is in mourning for the passing of a parent changed his shirt or dress jacket during Shiva without doing Keriah, must he perform Keriah onto it upon remembering?[170]

He does not have to perform Keriah to it once the garment is removed.

May one who is in mourning for the passing of a parent borrow clothing during Shiva and wear it without performing Keriah?[171]

Yes.

If one who is in mourning for the passing of a parent puts on an additional shirt over his torn shirt during Shiva, due to the cold, does it require Keriah?[172]

This matter is disputed in Poskim. Practically, one is to avoid doing so and is to borrow a shirt from a friend rather than wear an additional shirt that he owns.

Coat or jacket: A coat or jacket that is only worn on occasion, to protect from cold or rain, does not require Keriah, as stated in Halacha E.

When on Erev Shabbos may one who is in mourning for the passing of a parent change clothing?

A man and woman may change from their torn clothing slightly prior to candle lighting.[173] If one changes his clothing too early, he becomes obligated to perform Keriah onto the changed garment.[174] See Chapter 20 Halacha 3!

 

When on Motzei Shabbos must one who is in mourning for the passing of a parent change back to his torn clothing?

Some Poskim[175] rule he must change back into his torn clothing right away. Other Poskim[176] rule it is not necessary to change back right away. The Rebbe did not change back until after Maariv and Havdalah. See Chapter 20 Halacha 13!

 

May one who is in mourning for the passing of a parent wear Pajama’s during Shiva?[177]

Yes. At night one may change into sleeping attire, and one does not have to perform Keriah onto them.

If one is traveling during Shiva must he/she wear the torn garment while traveling?

Avel for passing of parent: One who is sitting Shiva for the passing of a parent must wear a torn garment throughout the Shiva, even when traveling. One may however borrow a non-freshly laundered/ironed garment from another person and wear it during travel without performing Keriah. If this is not possible and one is traveling through public transportation and feels embarrassed to wear a torn garment, then he may change to a non-freshly laundered garment that was already worn prior to the Shiva.[178]

Avel for passing of other relatives: One who is sitting Shiva for other relatives, may change into another garment that is not freshly laundered/ironed.

H. Sewing the tear and closing it with a safety pin?[179]

Various Halachic regulations are written regarding sewing the tear back together, as brought in the footnote below.[180] Practically, the widespread custom today is simply to discard the clothing, especially being that people do not feel respectable walking around with clothing that have sewn tears.

Safety pin:[181] It is forbidden throughout the Shiva for male Aveilim to attach the torn parts of their garment together with a safety pin. Regarding after Shiva-see footnote.[182] Regarding women-see next!

Women:[183] Women may unevenly sew the tear together even during Shiva, immediately after the tear took place [even before the burial[184]], out of respect for woman. They may also immediately close the torn parts using a safety pin [and so is the custom after the Keriah is done, to immediately close the torn parts together using a safety pin].[185]

 

Q&A

What is one to do with the torn garment after Shiva?[186]

After the Shiva is complete, it is proper to no longer wear the torn garment, even though there is no prohibition to do so from the letter of the law. One is to thus dispose of the garment.[187]

 

I. Making a second tear in the same garment for the passing of another relative:[188]

One may use the same torn garment to perform Keriah for the passing of a second relative. There is however a difference in law, depending on the circumstances, regarding the amount that one must tear and in the area that should be torn.[189]

Two relatives passed away simultaneously:[190] If two relatives [excluding his parents] passed away at the same time, one may make a single tear and fulfill his obligation of Keriah for both relatives simultaneously. This applies also if one’s father and mother passed away at the same time, that he may make a single tear and fulfill his obligation of Keriah for both parents simultaneously. However, if one’s parent and other relative passes away at the same time, one must first make a tear for the parent and then a second tear for the other relative at a three finger [6 cm] distance from the first tear. [However, the blessing of Dayan Haemes is said one time for both relatives in all cases.[191]]

J. Tore before death or for wrong relative:

Tore before passing:[192] If one accidently tore before the passing of the relative, he does not fulfill his obligation, unless the passing occurred within Kdei Dibbur of the tearing. 

Tore for wrong relative:[193] If one accidently performed Keriah under assumption that a certain relative passed away and then discovered it was a different relative who passed away, in some cases his Keriah is valid and in others the Keriah is invalid.[194]

 Summary for mourners over the passing of a parent:

The Keriah is done by the funeral/burial. It is not required for one to perform Keriah to the garments he wore at the time of death and he may change to lesser quality garments for the sake of the Keriah. The custom is to position the Aveilim to the left of the corpse during the Keriah. A member of the Chevra Kadisha [or any individual] begins the tearing with a scissor. A male member of the Chevra Kadisha is used for a male mourner and a female member of the Chevra Kadisha is used for a female mourner. The tear is made in the area that is parallel to the biceps and is to tear through the border area of the garment until the torn area of the garment splits into two parts. One is to tear the garment in its length and not in its width. The Avel then grabs the sides that were cut and says the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name. The Avel then completes the rest of the tearing with his hand for the length of at least one Tefach. Female mourners are to have the torn area pinned together. The torn garment is worn until after the burial, and by children of the deceased until the end of Shiva. After the Shiva is complete, one disposes of the torn garment.

What to tear: One who is an Avel for a parent is obligated to tear all of his upper garments that cover his chest, with exception to his undershirt, Tzitzis, and jacket that is only worn on specific occasions. This excludes from Keriah a rain jacket, winter jacket, suit jacket worn for weddings or only for Davening. It however does not exclude a jacket that is normally worn outside as part of one’s dress code, as is common amongst Charedi Jewry, and such a jacket requires Keriah according to Ashkenazi custom. It is permitted for one who is in mourning for a parent to tear a garment even if he is not required to do Keriah to it.

Which side to tear; right or left: The custom is that one who is an Avel for a mother or father tears the left side of his clothing.

How much to tear: One who is in mourning for a father or mother must tear a Tefach and more until his heart [or undershirt] is revealed.

In public versus private: One who is in mourning for a father or mother must perform the Keriah in public, in front of others. The Avel is thus not to enter a private room to do the Keriah. Likewise, he is to remove any winter/rain coats in order so the Keriah is visible to all. Some write that women are to perform the Keriah of the lower garment in as much privacy as possible due to Tznius.

Hand versus scissor: One who is in mourning for a father or mother must perform the Keriah with his hands. The custom is for the Chevra Kadisha to begin the Keriah with a scissor and then have the mourner perform the rest of the Keriah.

Changing: One who is mourning a father or mother is required to wear torn upper garments throughout the Shiva. Thus, although he may change even during Shiva, from his Keriah garment into a different garment [that is not freshly laundered, ironed or new], he must perform a new Keriah onto all the upper clothing that he changes into. This applies only during the Shiva, while after the Shiva, beginning from after Shacharis of the seventh day of Shiva, he may change into untorn garments and is not required to tear them. On Shabbos Shiva [and Chol Hamoed prior to Shiva] one is not to wear a torn garment.

Chol Hamoed: The custom is that the children of the deceased perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed.

Until when may the Keriah be performed? One who is mourning a father or mother and has not yet done Keriah to his upper clothing, remains obligated to perform Keriah on all his upper clothing, even after seven days from burial. This obligation of doing Keriah for the passing of a parent remains eternally, without any time limit.

Doing Keriah if discovered the death much later: If one heard of the passing and burial of a parent much time after the death, he remains obligated to perform Keriah upon discovering the news of their passing, irrelevant of how much time passed in the interim.

Summary for mourner over relatives other than parents:

The Keriah is done by the funeral/burial. It is not required for one to perform Keriah to the garments he wore at the time of death and he may change to lesser quality garments for the sake of the Keriah. The custom is to position the Aveilim to the left of the corpse during the Keriah.  A member of the Chevra Kadisha [or any individual] begins the tearing with a scissor. A male member of the Chevra Kadisha is used for a male mourner and a female member of the Chevra Kadisha is used for a female mourner. The Avel then grabs the sides that were cut and says the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name. The Avel then completes the rest of the tearing with his hand for the length of at least one Tefach. Women mourners are to have the torn area pinned together. The torn garment is worn until after the burial, and is not required to be worn during Shiva. One may dispose of the torn garment.

What to tear: One who is an Avel for relatives other than a parent is required to tear only the most upper garment that covers his chest, however not an upper jacket that is only worn on specific occasions. This excludes from Keriah a rain jacket, winter jacket, suit jacket worn for weddings or only for Davening. One tears the jacket that he wears upon going outside, and if he does not generally go outside with a jacket, then he is to tear his most upper shirt. It is forbidden for the Avel to tear a garment if he is not required to do Keriah to it due to Baal Tashchis.

Which side to tear-right or left: The custom is that one who is an Avel for other relatives, such as a brother or a child r”l, tears the right side of the clothing.

How much to tear: One who is mourning other relatives must tear a Tefach [8 centimeters] worth of the clothing.

In private versus public: One who is mourning other relatives is to perform the Keriah in private, not in the presence of other people.

Hand versus scissor: One who is mourning other relatives may perform the tear either with his hands or with the help of a vessel [such as a knife or scissor]. Practically, the custom is for the Chevra Kadisha to begin the Keriah with a scissor and then have the mourner perform the rest of the Keriah.

Changing garments: One who is mourning relatives other than a father or mother may change after the burial from his torn clothing into untorn clothing [that is not freshly laundered, ironed or new]. This applies even during the Shiva [even on the first day of Shiva]. There is no need to tear the clothing that he changes into even during Shiva.

Chol Hamoed: The custom is that the siblings and parents of the deceased perform Keriah after Chol Hamoed. Although a community that does not have a set custom is to have all the relatives perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed.

Until when may the Keriah be performed? A relative who did not perform Keriah [or did not perform the Keriah properly] at the proper time mentioned above, remains obligated to do so throughout the seven days of Shiva. If, however seven days from burial have passed, then one who is mourning other relatives can no longer fulfill the Mitzvah of Keriah.

Doing Keriah if discovered the death much later: If one heard of the passing and burial of a relative that is not a parent only after thirty days [from the death, i.e. Shemua Rechoka] he is not allowed to perform Keriah. If, however he heard within thirty days [i.e. Shemua Kerova], he remains obligated to perform Keriah.

2. Baruch Dayan Haemes-Blessing on bad tidings:[195]

A. In what circumstances is it recited?

Upon hearing bad tidings, one says the blessing of “Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam Dayan Haemes.” It goes without saying that this applies if one witnessed the bad occurrence. [Nevertheless, the custom today is to diminish in the recital of these blessings, as brought next.[196]]

Custom upon hearing of death of a Jew:[197] The custom of the world is to say Baruch Dayan Haemes without Hashem’s name [i.e. Shem or Malchus] upon hearing of the death of any [Kosher[198]] Jew. If, however one is pained by the death of this Jew due to his love for him, and certainly if the person who died was a man of stature [and he is thus pained by his passing], then one needs to recite the blessing with Hashem’s name. [Practically today, the custom is to only recite the blessing with Hashem’s name by the passing of a relative for whom one must sit Shiva.[199] Likewise, one is to recite the blessing with Hashem’s name upon the passing of one’s main Rebbe.[200]]

Trustworthy source:[201] A blessing for tidings, whether good tidings or bad tidings, may only be said if one heard it from a trustworthy source who witnessed the matter. If the person is not trustworthy in his eyes, then he is to recite the blessing without Hashem’s name. 

B. When is one to recite the blessing upon hearing of the passing of a relative?

As stated above, the custom is to recite the blessing of Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name only for the passing of a relative for whom one must sit Shiva. From the letter of the law, the blessing and Keriah is to be performed at the time of death, during the recital of Tziduk Hadin.[202] If one was not present during the death, then it is to be recited as soon as he hears of the death.[203] This applies even on Shabbos.[204] Nevertheless, today, the custom is to delay the blessing until the Levaya when Keriah is performed, and it is no longer recited at the time of death.[205] Nevertheless, one who says the blessing at the time of death, or the time of hearing of the passing, does not lose out, and the blessing is not to be repeated later on at the time of Keriah.[206] [Every mourner is to say the blessing himself, and is not to have one person recite it on behalf of them all.[207]]

C. How to say the blessing:[208]

One is obligated to say the blessing of Dayan Haemes with completeness of mind and soulful desire just as he says the blessing with joy upon hearing a good tiding.[209]

D. Blessing of Shehechiyanu or Hatov Vihameitiv upon death of father [or anyone who one inherits]:[210]

If one’s father [or other relative[211]] died and there is an inheritance that he will receive, then he is to first recite the blessing of Dayan Haemes with Sheim Umalchus and afterwards is to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu. If he also has a brother receiving an inheritance, then the brothers are to each say the blessing of “Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam Hatov Vehameitiv” in place of Shehechiyanu. Each of the brothers are to say this blessing even if they are not together. This applies whether one witnessed the death of his father or heard of it.

When is the blessing said: This blessing is said as soon as one hears of the death or witnesses it [even though he is within the status of Onen[212]]. [The blessing is said after the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes.[213]]

The custom today: Many are accustomed to being lenient not to recite these blessings anymore.[214] Practically, however, the blessing is to be recited.[215]

Summary:

One is to say Baruch Dayan Haemes without Hashem’s name, upon hearing of the death of any [Kosher] Jew. If one is a relative of the deceased and must sit Shiva on his passing, then one needs to recite the blessing with Hashem’s name. Likewise, one is to recite the blessing upon the passing of one’s main Rebbe. Today, the custom is to delay the blessing until the Levaya when Keriah is performed, and it is no longer recited at the time of death. Nevertheless, one who says the blessing at the time of death, or at the time of hearing of the passing, does not lose out, and the blessing is not to be repeated later on at the time of Keriah. Every mourner is to say the blessing himself, and is not to have one person recite it on behalf of them all.

 

Q&A on saying blessing by Keriah

If one must repeat the Keriah due to a previous invalidation, must the blessing of Dayan Haemes also be repeated?[216]

No.

 

If the burial is taking place on Chol Hamoed, when is the blessing to be recited if Keriah is not performed?

All relatives who sit Shiva are to recite the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name when the funeral takes place on Chol Hamoed, even if they will not be performing Keriah until Motzei Yom Tov.[217] Nevertheless, some are accustomed even in such a case to recite the blessing on Motzei Yom Tov, upon the Keriah being performed.[218]

 

Q&A on until when the blessing may be said

If the blessing of Dayan Haemes was not recited by the funeral, until when may the blessing be recited?

The blessing may be said so long as he still feels pain due to the death.[219] Practically, some Poskim[220] rule that the blessing may only be said with Hashem’s name up until the third day of Shiva. This applies even in the event that one did not perform Keriah by the Levayah and is doing the Keriah during the Shiva, nevertheless after three days of Shiva the blessing can no longer be recited with Hashem’s name.[221] Other Poskim[222] however rule it may be recited throughout the Shiva. Practically, one may say the blessing throughout the Shiva so long as he still feels pain.[223]

 

If one heard of the passing of a relative for whom he must sit Shiva much time after the death and burial, is the blessing to be recited?[224]

The blessing is to be recited at the time he receives knowledge of the passing. This applies even if thirty days have passed from the death and burial [i.e. Shemua Rechoka] and even if a full year has passed. The blessing may be said until he no longer feels pain due to the death.[225] Some[226] say that by a Shemua Rechoka, one may only say the blessing for the first 24 hours.

 

Q&A on miscellaneous circumstances of death

If one heard of the passing of two relatives, how many blessings are to be recited?[227]

One blessing is recited on behalf of both relatives. [Thus, if one has two funerals of two relatives taking place, the blessing is not to be said by the Keriah that is done by the second Levaya, being one already said the blessing during the first funeral, when he already had knowledge of the second relatives passing.[228]]

 

Is the blessing of Dayan Haemes to be recited for a relative who committed suicide?

Some Poskim[229] rule the blessing is to be recited without Hashem’s name.

 

Is the blessing of Dayan Haemes with Hashem’s name to be recited upon the death of a child under 30 days old [i.e. Nefel]?[230]

Some write that the relatives may say the blessing with Hashem’s name if they so choose.

 

When does the Chasan or Kallah recite the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes?

Even in the event that the Shiva will only  begin after the conclusion of Sheva Brachos, the blessing of Baruch Dayan Haemes is to be recited during Sheva Brachos, immediately upon discovering the death. However, some are accustomed to delay its recital until the Keriah is performed after Sheva Brachos. See Chapter 13 Halacha 10C for the full details of this matter!

The Nussach:[231]

Some say the blessing with a Kamatz under the Yud of Dayan, while others say the blessing with a Patach under the Yud.

______________________________________

[1] See Gesher Hachaim 4

[2] Nitei Gavriel 56:2

[3] Moed Katan 26b; Gilyon Maharsha 340:1

[4] Michaber 340:1-39; Nitei Gavriel 53-62                                                                      

[5] Shach 340:2 as the verse in Moed Katan 24a is a mere Asmachta; Taz 340:17; Levush 340:1; Tosfos Moed Katan ibid; Ramban in Toras Habayis and Moed Katan 26b; Rosh Moed Katan 3:3; Kesef Mishneh on Rambam Avel 8 that so is opinion of Rambam; See Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 2

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that Keriah is a Biblical obligation. [Raavad, brought in Rosh and Ramban; Sdei Chemed Mareches Kuf-Samech that so is opinion of Rambam]

[6] Michaber 340:1; Mishneh Moed Katan 24b

The source: This is learned from scripture, as after the passing of Nadav and Avihu Hashem instructed Aaron not to tear his clothing, hence implying that in general a mourner is to tear his clothing. [Moed Katan 24a]

A blessing: The Sages did not institute for a blessing of “Asher Kidishanu… Al Mitzvas Keriah” to be recited over the tearing. See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 1 for the reason.

[7] Moed Katan 24a; Levush 340:1

The reason: This is learned from scripture, as after the passing of Nadav and Avihu Hashem instructed Aaron not to tear his clothing, and nonetheless he will not die, hence implying that in general, mourners who do not tear their clothing are liable for death. [Moed Katan 24a] This verse however is merely an Asmachta, and in truth the liability for death falls under the general rule that whoever transgresses the words of the Sages is liable for death. [Rosh Moed Katan 3:3; Levush ibid]

[8] See Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 1; Nitei Gavriel 57:2

[9] Moed Katan 14b and Rashi there; Shach 340:41; Beis Yehuda Y.D. 26

[10] Halachos Ketanos 116

[11] Mavor Yabok Imrei Noam 34

[12] Shem Mishimon 53

[13] Michaber 340:1 and 5-8

[14] Michaber 374:4; Shach 340:1

If the deceased is a Rasha: See Rama 340:5 [no Aveilus for Baal Aveiros]; Shach 340:8 [even Liteiavon]; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:4 [only if Lehachis]; Nitei Gavriel 53:2

[15] Michaber 340:11; Moed Katan 22b

[16] Michaber 340:27; Moed Katan 14b; 26b; See Nitei Gavriel 59:1-5; Pnei Baruch 1:27

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is not necessary to do Keriah to a Katan, as a Katan is not obligated to keep Aveilus. [See Chochmas Shlomo 340 in explanation of Shach 340:41; Nitei Gavriel 47:1] Some Poskim rule it is only necessary to do Keriah for a Katan if his parent passed away. [Derisha 340:2; Zera Emes 3:155-11; See Nitei Gavriel 47:4] Other Poskim rule that only if the father is alive must Keriah be done, as the Mitzvah of Chinuch is on the father. [Chochmas Adam152:17; Minchas Chinuch 464:9; See Nitei Gavriel 47:5]

Shemua Kerova: If a child heard a Shemua Kerova, it is disputed in Poskim as to whether he must perform Keriah. [Taz 340:15-Yes; Masas Binyamin 79-No]

[17] Derisha, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 340:27; Bach 340

[18] The reason: Although a child is not obligated in Mitzvos, one is nevertheless to perform Keriah to his garment that he is wearing in order to express sorrow [Moed Katan ibid; Shach 340:41] and have those around him cry [Rashi Moed Katan 14b] or have them increase in eulogy. [Tur, brought in Taz 340:15] This reason suffices for even a child who has not yet reached the age of Chinuch. If however the child has reached the age of Chinuch then some Poskim rule he is obligated to do Keriah just as he is obligated in all laws of Aveilus. [Derisha, brought in Taz 340:15] Other Poskim however rule a child is never obligated in any laws of Aveilus, and Keriah is an exception due to the above-mentioned reason. [Shach in Nekudos Hakesef 340:15 based on Rosh and Tur and Michaber 396; Degul Merivava 340; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:10]

[19] Derisha 340, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 340:27; Bach 340

[20] Michaber 340:30; See also Michaber 374:8; Nitei Gavriel 59; 135:1; Pnei Baruch 1:26

[21] The child is only considered a Ben Tesha Chodesh after a full 9 months have passed, and has now entered into the 10th month. [See 374:8] We follow the Hebrew months in this regard, and not a number of weeks or days. Thus, since the months vary between 29 and 30 days, determining how many weeks/days need to pass depends on how many days were in each of the nine months of her pregnancy. If, for example, there were five 30-day months and four 29 day months, then it is exactly 38 weeks, which is 266 days. If, however, there were more or less than five 30 day months, then it would be more or less than 38 weeks. Thus, we determine the completion of nine months based on the passing of Hebrew months, and not based on weeks or days. [See Meil Tzedaka 5, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 374:9]

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that she must pass 273 days from her last intercourse. [Tevuos Shur 15:15, brought in Pnei Baruch 9 footnote 13; 270 days is 30 days per month for each other 9 months, and three days is for the possibility of conception occurring within three days from intercourse.]

[22] The reason: Although this may be a mere doubt, nevertheless since Keriah is Rabbinical we are lenient. [Taz 340:17]

[23] Such as the mother did not have relations the last nine months [Shach 340:43]

[24] Shach 340:43

[25] Rama 340:4 as explained in Rama 374

Letter of the law: From the letter of the law, relatives of the Aveilim must perform Keriah in front of the relative in mourning [upon seeing him]. For example, if a grandson [son’s son] or step brother [son’s brother] or ex-wife [Taz 340:1] passes away, he is obligated to tear in front of the son. Similarly, a man and women must also tear on the passing of their father in-law, mother in-law. [Michaber ibid; Moed Katan 20b] He/she however is not obligated to tear for the passing of other relatives of the spouse. [Shach 340:6]

[26] Michaber 340:5; Moed Katan 25a; Pnei Baruch 1:2; Nitei Gavriel 4:4-7

Details of this Halacha: See Michaber ibid regarding a Rasha; Shach 340:7 and Taz 340:2 regarding a child; Nitei Gavriel 4:12-14 and Pnei Baruch ibid regarding if he passed away on Shabbos, Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed.

[27] Including women. [Shem Mishimon 26]

[28] The reason: The reason for this is because every Jew is a like a Sefer Torah, and one who sees a Sefer Torah being torn must perform Keriah. [Moed Katan ibid; See Taz 340:2 for dispute in Rishonim for explanation of this reason]

Child who passed away: See Shach 340:7 in name of Bach [required] and Rashal and Taz 340:2 [not required]. See Beir Heiytiv 340:5 in name of Radbaz 508 that one tears for a Katan but not for a Ketana.

Passed away on Shabbos: See dispute mentioned in Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:3

[29] Shulchan Gavoa 340:15; Zechor Leavraham 3 Y.D. 31; Daas Torah 340:6; Nehar Mitzrayim 17; Kaf Hachaim 547:25; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 45; Gesher Hachaim p. 48; Nitei Gavriel 4:4

The reason for the leniency: As if one were required to tear upon seeing someone pass away people would avoid visiting the sick.

[30] Rama 340:6; Ran; Hagahos Maimanis in name of Ravaya

Letter of the law: From the letter of the law, all non-Torah scholars must perform Keriah upon the passing of a Kosher Jew if he is prior to burial. [Michaber ibid; Tur and Raavad based on Moed Katan 25a] See Shach 340:6 regarding if this only applies if one is in the presence of the deceased or even if he simply hears of his passing. See Michaber ibid; Shach 340:11

[31] Michaber and Rama 340:8; Michaber 242:25

Regarding if the tear may be resewn: See Michaber 340:17 that by a Nassi and Rabo Muvhak it may never be resewed properly.

[32] Rama ibid that it is customary to be lenient; Nitei Gavriel 53:3

Other opinions-letter of law: The Michaber 340:8 rules one is to perform Keriah after the passing of any teacher, even not Muvhak, similar to the Keriah performed after the death of other relatives; Furthermore, according to Michaber 340:7 one must do Keriah for a Torah scholar even if he is not one’s teacher at all. However, the Rama 340:7 rules it is not necessary to tear on a Torah scholar who is not one’s teacher, and in 340:8 brings a dispute if the above law applies only to a main teacher, or any teacher. The Rama 340:8 concludes the custom is only to tear by a main teacher.

[33] Michaber 242:25; 340:8 records two opinions

[34] See previous footnote

[35] Rama 340:7; Rosh; Hagahos Maimanis in name of Maharam

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that all people must perform Keriah upon hearing of the passing of Torah scholar who can answer a Halachic question from any area of Halacha. [Michaber 340:7; See Shabbos 114a] However other Poskim rule one is not required to do so unless the scholar is one’s Rebbe or one studied his teachings. [Rama ibid] The Rama concludes that so is the custom. See Rama 340:8 regarding tearing or a Chavrusa, or member of Beis Midrash with who one is Mipalpel with; See Nitei Gavriel 53:4 regarding the Gadol Hador; Nitei Gavriel 53:5 regarding a Ger and the person who converted him. Nevertheless, the custom is to be lenient, as it is rare to find a Torah scholar of the caliber that he can answer a question accurately from any area of Halacha. [See Aruch Hashulchan 340:22-23]

[36] Michaber 340:36

[37] Michaber 340:37; See there regarding a Mumar, gentile [Shach 340:53]; hearing from witnesses.

[38] Michaber 340:37

[39] Shach 340:56; Taz 340:24; Bach

[40] Michaber 340:38; Michaber O.C. 561

[41] Michaber 340:39; Moed Katan 26b; Gilyon Maharsha 340; However, see Shach 340:52

[42] Rama 402:4; Or Zarua; Kitzur SHU”A 195:3; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:1

[43] Shach 402:3

[44] Birkeiy Yosef 340 in name of Mahariy Malko; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:1; Halachos Ketanos 116; Meiri Moed Katan 20b

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule it is invalid to have another person tear the clothing that is on him and he must rather do so himself. [Aruch Hashulchan 340:12 that so is implied from Poskim; See Nitei Gavriel 56:1 and 11]

[45] Birkeiy Yosef 340 in name of Mahariy Malko; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:1; Halachos Ketanos 116

[46] Beis Yehuda 26

[47] Pnei Baruch 1:9 footnote 37

[48] Nitei Gavriel 56:2 in name of Poskim; Minhagei Wormz

[49] Rama 402:4; Or Zarua; Kitzur SHU”A 195:3; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:1

[50] 340:24-26; 32; See Pnei Baruch 1:4; Nitei Gavriel 57

[51] See Shach 340:3 “in the grave”; However, see Poskim in Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 26 for an alternative explanation in Rama ibid

[52] Rama 340:1

[53] Michaber 339:3; Shach 340:3; Ramban in Toras Hadam that so is custom; Kol Bo; Achronim brought in Nitei Gavriel 57:5; See Beir Heiytiv 340:2 that this matter is dependent on custom in whether one recites Tziduk Hadin at the time of the passing.

[54] Chabad custom and custom and ruling of Rebbe, brought in Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6 and 76 footnote 1; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 26] that the Rebbe Rayatz performed Keriah after the Taharah of his mother, in the Taharah room. He, however, did not participate in the Levayah

Other customs: See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 7 that some Rishonim rule the Keriah is to be done at the time of the actual burial. See also Nitei Gavriel 76:1 that in fact the custom of most of Jewry is to do so at the time of burial.

[55] Rishonim and Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 57:3-4 footnote 6-7; Darkei Chesed 14:4; Pnei Baruch 1:4; Beir Moshe 2:117;

The reason: See Gesher Hachaim 4 footnote 1, Darkei Chesed ibid, Pnei Baruch footnote 26, Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 5 for various reasons for why we delay the Keriah from the time of death until the time of the funeral

Burying the corpse overseas: See Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 6 that the Rebbe ruled that one who is traveling with the corpse to Eretz Yisrael for the burial, is nevertheless to perform Keriah prior to the corpse leaving his home in the Diaspora.

Other customs: See Pnei Baruch ibid that some Sephardim are accustomed to performing the Keriah after the burial.

[56] Birkeiy Yosef 340:1

[57] Nitei Gavriel 56:2 in name of Mavor Yabok

[58] Michaber 340:28 [Shabbos] 31 [Yom Tov]; 401:4; Admur 526:21;

[59] Michaber 340:28; Shabbos 105b

[60] O.C. 547:6; Y.D. 340:31; 401:2

[61] Michaber O.C. and Y.D. ibid and ibid; Bach, brought in Taz 340:18; Implication of Mishneh Moed Katan 24b

[62] If relative passed away on Yom Tov: If the relative passed away and was buried on Yom Tov, some Poskim rule that Keriah is to be done after Chol Hamoed, being Chol Hamoed is no longer “Shaas Chimum.” [M”A 547:3 in name of Maharam; Mishneh Lemelech, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:11; Nitei Gavriel 61:6]

[63] Rama O.C. and Y.D. ibid; Terumas Hadeshen 285; Mordechai, brought in Taz ibid, records a dispute regarding if one may perform Keriah on Chol Hamoed and the above is a compromise between the two opinions. The Semak, brought in Taz 547:6, is of the opinion that Keriah is never done on Chol Hamoed and the Ashkenazi community is accustomed to make the above compromise. [Taz O.C. ibid and Y.D. ibid]

[64] Rama O.C. ibid; Shach 340:46

[65] Kitzur SHU”A 195:14 “Our provinces”; Yifei Lalev Y.D. 340:13 “Izmor”; Machazik Bracha 340:3 and Poskim in Kaf Hachaim 547:30 and Nitei Gavriel 61 footnote 4 regarding Yerushalayim

[66] Shach 340:46; M”A 546:4; Masas Binyamin 72; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 61

[67] Rama O.C. and Y.D. ibid; Taz 547:6; See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 61:2 footnote 5-6 and that in America there is no set custom and hence everyone is to do the Keriah

[68] Michaber 340:32; Taz ibid in name of Bach; Shach 340:47; See Taz 340:19

[69] Mahariy Bruno 181; Beir Moshe 4; Pnei Baruch 1:20; Nitei Gavriel 61:3; 65:31

[70] Binyan Olam 62; Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 62; Nitei Gavriel 61:7

[71] Michaber 401:2

[72] See Michaber 401:3 “If one heard a Shemua Kerova on Chol Hamoed he must tear”; Shach Y.D. 340:47 in name of Bach and Rashal; Kneses Hagedola; M”A O.C. 547:3; See Chapter 13 Halacha 8B-C for full details on Shemua Kerova and Rechoka.

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that even a Shemua Rechoka performs Keriah on Chol Hamoed. [Poskim brought in M”A ibid]

[73] Michaber 340:18 and 396:1; Moed Katan 20b

[74] This can happen even initially in a case that one’s clothing were already torn, or he was wearing a borrowed shirt, or was only wearing an undershirt. [Shach 340:26 in name of Bach]

[75] The reason: As the Keriah is only to be performed during “Shaas Chimum” at a time that one is aroused in feeling of mourning for the dead. [Michaber 396:1]

If one did not yet sit Shiva: Some Poskim rule that if one did not sit Shiva within the Shiva and is hence sitting Shiva within the Shloshim [as rules Michaber 396:1] then he is to perform Keriah even on other relatives. [Tiferes Lemoshe, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 396] Other Poskim however rule that Keriah is not to be done even in such a case. [Kneses Hagedola in Baiy Chaiy 239, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger ibid] Vetzaruch Iyun on this dispute as the Michaber 396:1 clearly rules that Keriah is not required even in such a case!

If one was unable to do the Keriah due to Onness, such as being hospitalized: If one was sick and weak and hence unable to properly digest the information of the death of his relative then he may perform Keriah upon recovery, if he now fully digests the passing and is aroused in mourning and sadness. [See Taz 396:1; Shach 396:1 in name of Bach; Nachalas Tzevi ibid]

If Yom Tov arrived within the Shiva and did not do Keriah: See Rama 340:15; Shach 340:25; Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 27

[76] Michaber 340:18; 402:4;  Moed Katan 20b

[77] Shach 402:5 in name of Derisha and Bach 399 in name of Rashal; Taz 402:6 that we follow the day of death; P”M 548 M”Z 5; Shvus Yaakov 2:100; Chochmas Adam 171:6; Mahariy Asad 371; Gesher Hachaim p. 264; See other Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 62:3 and his final conclusion to be lenient; Rebbe in Igros Kodesh 6:103 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:267] writes that so is the directive of the Rebbe Rayatz to follow the day of death by a Shemua Rechoka

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that we follow the day of burial for a Shemua Rechoka. [Shach in Nekudos Hakesef 402 based on Rabbeinu Yerucham 28:2 argues on the ruling of Rashal that he quoted in Shach 402:5, and concludes with a Tzaruch Iyun; Degul Mirivava 402; Mahariy Viyal 16; Pnei Yehoshua 9; Kitzur SHU”A 206:1; Aruch Hashulchan 402:10]

[78] Michaber ibid; See Rama 402:4 that it is forbidden to do so; Or Zarua; Kitzur SHU”A 195:3; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:1

[79] Shach 340:27

[80] Michaber 340:9-10

[81] Michaber 340:9 regarding a mourner for a parent “until he reveals his heart”;

[82] Michaber 340:9; Moed Katan 22b

[83] Law if tore lower garment: If he accidently tore a lower garment, such as a shirt that is under his jacket, some Poskim rule he nevertheless fulfills his obligation. [Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:8 in name of Ginas Veradim and Perach Mateh Aaron 1:99; Rav Akiva Eiger 340:9 in name of Perach Mateh Aaron; Gilyon Maharsha in name of Kneses Hagedola] Other Poskim however rule he does not fulfill his obligation. [Toras Chesed 55, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger ibid]

[84] See next regarding jackets; Minchas Yitzchak 9:126; Nitei Gavriel 55:10

[85] Rama 402:4; Or Zarua; Kitzur SHU”A 195:3; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:1

[86] See next regarding which jackets are obligated in Keriah

[87] See Reshimos 5 [printed in Menachem Tziyon p. 26] that the Rebbe Rayatz tore his Kapata and shirt

[88] Bach 340; See Shach 340:22

[89] Michaber 340:10; Moed Katan 22b; See Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 53 for different opinions on this matter

[90] Tur in name of Aruch; Rambam 8

[91] Rama ibid calls it a Chaluk; Michaber ibid states it’s the clothing that absorbs sweat on the body; See Nitei Gavriel 55:9 footnote 14-17 for many Poskim who write that also the Kesones is included in this. The Kesones is defined as the shirt. However, see there that practically, all shirts that are worn as the top garment require Keriah, whether or not one is wearing an undershirt under, and only the undershirt which has another shirt worn on top is exempt, and so is the custom.

[92] Semag in name of French Rabbis

[93] Kitzur SHU”A 195:3; See Taz 340:5 that any clothing that is only worn for extra modesty [Tznius] is exempt from Keriah. Likewise, any clothing that is worn on special occasion for extra honor and elegance is exempt from Keriah.

Clothing that are not worn in the house: Some Poskim rule that all clothing that are part of one’s dress code when going outside, even if he does not wear it in the house, is obligated in Keriah. [Shach 340:20 in name of Masas Binyamin 80 in explanation of Rama that the “Sarvel” mentioned in Rama refers to the “Mantil” but not the “Rak”; Taz ibid explains the Rak is not worn in the house, and according to Masas Binyamin is nevertheless obligated in Keriah] Other Poskim however rule that those clothing that are not worn in one’s home, and are only worn upon going outside, are not obligated in Keriah, and one is not to tear them as the Mitzvah cannot be fulfilled with such a garment. [Taz 340:5 in negation of opinion of Masas Binyamin] Accordingly, it is a dispute as to whether a jacket that is worn as part of one’s regular dress code [i.e. such as a jacket that Chareidim wear outside at all times] is obligated in Keriah, being it is not customary to wear the jacket in the house. Practically, the Shach in Nekudos Hakesef defends and explains the ruling of the Masas Binyamin, and concludes that any garment that is part of one’s normal outside dress code requires Keriah. However, a rain jacket or winter jacket and the like is certainly exempt according to all being that it is meant to be worn only on specific occasion.

[94] Shach 340:20 in name of Masas Binyamin 80; Nekudos Hakesef 340 in defense of Masas Binyamin against Taz 340:5; Custom that is followed today amongst Ashkenazi Jewry; See previous footnote

Other opinions-Sephardic custom: Some Poskim hold that a jacket is never obligated in Keriah even if always worn outside, since it is not worn at home. [Taz ibid] The Yosef brothers and sons were seen to only tear their shirts and not their jackets upon the passing of their brother Harav Yaakov Yosef and father Harav Ovadia Yosef, seemingly following the opinion of the Taz in the definition of the term Kafah brought in Michaber ibid. Rav Yaakov Yosef states that this is the Sephardic custom and follows the opinion of Rishonim, Ramban and Raavad and majority of Rishonim who hold a jacket does not require Keriah.

[95] Rama ibid; Semag in name of French Rabbis

Sephardic custom-Ruling of Michaber: The Michaber ibid concludes that the custom is to not tear the raincoat in any situation, even if one is a mourner for a parent, although the undershirt [called Kamizah] is torn if one is a mourner on a parent. [Michaber ibid; Kol Bo; Semak; Rabbeinu Yerucham]

[96] See Q&A!

[97] Rama ibid; Semag in name of French Rabbis

[98] Taz 340:5

[99] Rama 402:4; Or Zarua; Kitzur SHU”A 195:3; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:1

[100] Shach 402:3

[101] Michaber 340:33

[102] This refers to a garment that was torn prior to the death of the relative or without connection to the passing of the relative.

[103] It is however permitted to wear an already torn garment so long as one performs a new Keriah. See Michaber 340:3

[104] Michaber 340:29; Shach 340:50

[105] The reason: As the actual garment which contains the tear is part of the sin of stealing. This is unlike the law that one who tore his own shirt on Shabbos fulfills his obligation being that only the actual act of tearing is a transgression. [Shach 340:42; Taz 340:16]

[106] See Michaber 340:34; Moed Katan 26b; Shach 340:48-50

[107] Shach 340:50; Aguda

[108] Pashut; Darkei Chesed 14:5

[109] Teshuvas Maharil 198; Birkeiy Yosef 340:11; Gilyon Maharsha 340:9 in name of Kneses Hagedola 32; Chochmas Adam 152:6; Gesher Hachaim 4:1; Poskim brought in Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 46 and Nitei Gavriel 56:9 footnote 20; Darkei Chesed 14:8

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is required to perform Keriah on the clothing he wore at the time that he heard of the death. [Shulchan Gavoa 340:4; Mishmeres Shalom Kuf 81 based on Shach 340:27; Har Tzevi 263; See Nitei Gavriel and Pnei Baruch ibid]

[110] Since the proper performance of the Keriah requires one to tear the garment and hence rend it unwearable in the future, one may want to change into less valuable clothing prior to the Keriah. It is permitted to do so being that the Mitzvah of Keriah is not specifically on the garment one wore during the death but on any garment that one is wearing at the time of mourning the death, Shaas Chimum.

[111] Nitei Gavriel 56:9 based on Daas Torah 389

[112] See dispute mentioned in footnotes of above Halacha regarding if a Jacket requires Keriah and that the common Ashkenazi custom is to do so.

[113] So is implied from Michaber 340:9 regarding a mourner for a parent that he must tear his upper garment even after thirty days. See also Daas Torah 340, brought in Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 51 and footnote 53; Vetzaruch Iyun regarding other mourners if we initially rule that they are to wear their jacket for the Keriah and hence perform Keriah to it rather than to the shirt. This especially applies in light of the fact that it is disputed if a jacket requires Keriah. [See Gesher Hachaim 4:14 that he may avoid wearing the jacket, however, see Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 53] Practically, the Ashkenazi custom as seen by Gedolei Yisrael is to perform Keriah only to the jacket and not to the shirt even by other relatives.

[114] See Nitei Gavriel 55:5

[115] The reason: As it is worn only to protect from the cold.

[116] Har Tzevi 262 in name of Meishiv Davar 2:89; Poskim brought in Pnei Baruch 1:17 footnote 54 and Nitei Gavriel 55:3 footnote 4; Igros Kodesh 3:8

The reason: As it is a clothing worn only for the sake of a Mitzvah and is hence similar to a raincoat.

[117] Kerem Shlomo in name of Binyan Yehoshua, Poskim brought in Pnei Baruch 1:17 footnote 55 and Nitei Gavriel 55:3 footnote 5

[118] Michaber 340:2 and 12; Moed Katan 26b and 12 and 20

[119] Kitzur SHU”A 195:3 and Yaavetz regarding one who is mourning a parent

[120] See Pnei Baruch 1:19 footnote 58 that the tear is to extend pass the collar onto the actual garment; See Shevet Halevi Tinyana 3:167 and Nitei Gavriel 56:8 that if one made the tear only in the collar, he is Yotzei

[121] Rama ibid; See Rama ibid that some Rishonim rule one is Yotzei if he tears the bottom of the garment and that so is the custom regarding all tears of non-relatives who do not sit Shiva but are obligated to tear [i.e. one who is present at the time of death-Shach 340:4], while tears of relatives who sit Shiva are not Yotzei if they tear on the bottom. [Rama ibid]

[122] Michaber 340:2; Moed Katan 26b and 12 and 20; Gilyon Maharsha 340:1; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Menachem Tziyon p. 26] that the Rebbe Rayatz tore his Kapata and shirt

[123] Michaber 340:12 regarding Avel for parents; Rama ibid in name of Maryu and Mordechai regarding all Aveilim and that so is custom; second opinion in Moed Katan 22b

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule that an Avel for other relatives is not required to tear the border area and may rather tear the middle of the garment. [Michaber ibid based on first opinion in Moed Katan ibid] See Aruch Hashulchan 340:11 and Nitei Gavriel 46 footnote 5 that our stringency like Rama ibid is a mere custom.

Bedieved: If one did not tear the border area of the garment, then if he is a mourner for a parent, he is not Yotzei. [So is implied from Michaber and Moed Katan ibid] However if he is a mourner for other relatives, he is Yotzei Bedieved. [As it is merely a custom as explained above]

[124] See Shach 340:30 for two definitions and according to the Shach’s ibid second definition it is a sewing of such good quality that the stitches are not recognizable at all. 

[125] Michaber 340:20 that one may not make the tear by the following types of sewing’s: Malal, Shallal, Likut, Sulmos. [See Taz 340:11 and Shach 340:29 for definition] However one may make the tear in sewing called Ichuiy Alexanderis [see Shach 340:30 for definition]. [Michaber ibid; Moed Katan 26b]  

[126] Radbaz 3:560; Chochmas Adam 152:2; Kitzur SHU”A 195:2; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:1; See however Daas Torah 340 and Pnei Baruch 1:11 footnote 41

The reason: As it appears the tear occurred on its own. [ibid]

[127] Shach 340:19; Taz 340:6; Custom brought in Rashal; Bach concludes like Rashal that so is custom; Beir Hagoleh 340:9

Other opinions: See Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 56 footnote 14 for other customs mentioned. See also custom of Maharil, brought in next footnote.

[128] See Shach ibid that suggests that from the letter of the law all Aveilim tear on the same side; See also Taz ibid that the Maharil tore his son’s right side after his mother passed away

[129] The reason: As the heart is found on the left side and one who is a mourner for a parent must tear all his clothing until he reveals his heart. [Taz ibid in name of Bach]

[130] Birkeiy Yosef 340:10; Chochmas Adam 152:6; Kitzur SHU”A 195:4; Aruch Hashulchan 340:8; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 56:5 footnote 15

[131] Michaber 340:11; Moed Katan 22b

[132] The reason: Although her chest is still covered by an untorn undershirt, it is nevertheless not modest for this undershirt to be revealed to the public and hence she is to turn the torn shirt around. [Shach 340:22 in name of Bach] See Aruch Hashulchan 340:10; Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 52

[133] Meiri Moed Katan 22a; See Shach 340:22 that a) The undershirt does not require Keriah as explained in Rama 340:10 and b) revealing the undershirt is also not Tznius and hence it is to be covered.

[134] Michaber 340:1; Moed Katan 20b

One who is physically unable to stand: One who is physically unable to stand, may tear while sitting. [Kinyan Torah 3:108]

[135] The reason: As the verse [Iyov 1] states that Iyov stood up and tore his garment. [Moed Katan ibid]

[136] Michaber ibid

[137] Rama ibid; Tur in name of Maharitz Geios; Hagahos Maimanis; Story in Moed Katan ibid

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one fulfills his obligation and is not required to repeat the Keriah. [See Beir Hagoleh ibid]

[138] Based on Admur 585:1 regarding Shofar

The reason: As in such a case this leaning is not defined as standing but as leaning. [Admur ibid; See also 607:7]

[139] Michaber 340:3 and 9; Moed Katan 26b

If adding a tear for the death of another relative: See Michaber ibid that when tearing a garment that was torn for the death of another relative then if it is after the Shiva any tearing suffices while if it is during the Shiva of the first relative he must tear a full Tefach, and on a parent he must tear until the heart is revealed.

[140] Shiur Gra”ch Naah in Shiureiy Torah

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule a Tefach is 10 cm. [Chazon Ish]

[141] Birkeiy Yosef 340 in name of Mahariy Malko; Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:1; Bava Kama 91b; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:1; See Rama 402:4

[142] Nitei Gavriel 54:3

[143] See Chasam Sofer 323 and Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 54:2 that he must tear at least a Tefach like all other mourners, and in addition the tear must reveal his heart, and hence if a Tefach does not suffice he must tear more than a Tefach.

[144] See Shach 340:22

[145] Nitei Gavriel 54:3

[146] Derisha 340, brought in Rav Akiva Eiger 340:27; Bach 340

[147] Michaber 340:13; Moed Katan 22b

[148] Tur 340; Nitei Gavriel 56:12 footnote 30

[149] See Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 39; Minchas Yitzchak 9:126; Nitei Gavriel 56:13

[150] Michaber 340:14; Moed Katan 22b

Bedieved: Bedieved, if an Avel over a parent performed the entire Keriah with a scissor some Poskim rule he fulfills his obligation. [Daas Torah 340] Others, however, imply that he is not Yotzei. [See Or Zarua brought in Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 40]

[151] Meiri Moed Katan 24a; Aruch Hashulchan 340:12; Daas Torah 340:12

[152] Pnei Baruch 1:9 footnote 37; See Reshimos 5 [printed in Toras Menachem Tziyon p. 26] that the Rebbe Rayatz had Menachem Cunin begin the tear of his shirt and he then tore the rest himself.

[153] Michaber 340:14; Moed Katan 24a

[154] Michaber ibid; See Nitei Gavriel 58:1 and Pnei Baruch 1:20 in name of some Poskim that this is only allowed in a time of need.

[155] Changing before burial: Even these relatives are not to change clothing until after the burial, until the Shiva begins. [Shiyurei Bracha 340:12; See Nitei Gavriel 58:2 footnote 3 and Pnei Baruch 1:20 in name of Chida ibid and see there for other opinions mentioned]

[156] See Chapter 19 Halacha 11G

[157] The reason: As there is no obligation for one to wear the torn garment during Shiva.

[158] Michaber 340:14; Moed Katan 24a

Chol Hamoed: Regarding one who performed Keriah during Chol Hamoed and is now wearing a different garment during the Shiva, which is after Chol Hamoed, and after seven days have passed, he nevertheless must perform Keriah to the garment. [Binyan Olam 62; Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 62; Nitei Gavriel 61:7]

[159] See Chapter 19 Halacha 11G

[160] Bach 340 and Taz 340:7 in accordance to the additional words “seven days” added in brackets in our Nussach; This intent of the Bach and Taz is recorded also in Birkeiy Yosef 340:13; Aruch Hashulchan 340:14; See Nitei Gavriel 55:11 footnote 20 for a lengthy discussion on this matter

[161] Bach 340 and Taz 340:7 in accordance to the regular Nussach that does not limit their ruling to after Shiva; Many Poskim listed in Nitei Gavriel ibid record the ruling of the Taz/Bach without limiting it to after Shiva; See Nitei Gavriel 55:11 footnote 21 for a discussion on this matter

[162] Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 21 regarding traveling by plain

[163] Orchos Chaim [Lunil] Avel 6; Raavad; Pnei Baruch 1:20 footnote 63; See Halacha E!

[164] Michaber 400:1; Shach 340:23

[165] Beir Moshe 4; Pnei Baruch 1:20

[166] Michaber 340:14

[167] See next!

[168] See Michaber 395:1; Mishmeres Shalom Kuf 82 in name of Maharsham [who is stringent]; Nitei Gavriel 57:11 footnote 23 and Pnei Baruch 1:20 footnote 69 who in length proves the Avel may switch garments beginning from after Shacharis, unlike the claim in the name of the Maharsham

[169] Rama 340:14; Rabbeinu Yerucham in name of Raavad

[170] Nitei Gavriel 58:6

[171] See Shach 340:27; Nitei Gavriel 58:5

[172] See Nitei Gavriel 58:4 for a dispute brought in Meiri Moed Katan 24a

[173] Nitei Gavriel 114:3

[174] Orchos Chaim Avel 6; Pnei Baruch 1:20

[175] Chikikeiy Lev 51

[176] Rav SZ”A in Minchas Shlomo 73

[177] Nitei Gavriel 55:12; Pnei Baruch p. 499 in name of Gedolei Horaah

[178] Nitei Gavriel 55:11 footnote 21

[179] Michaber 340:14-15; 19

[180] One who is mourning relatives other than a father or mother may sew the garment unevenly [i.e. Sholel] after Shiva, and sew it properly [i.e. Meacheh] after Shloshim. [Michaber 340:15; Moed Katan 22b] Some however are accustomed to only sew it even unevenly, after the Shloshim. [Rama ibid; Maryu 6] One who is mourning a father or mother may sew the tear unevenly after Shloshim and may never sew it evenly, for eternity. [Michaber ibid; Moed Katan 22b] Regarding if a holiday nullifies the Shloshim and allows one to sew the tear: Some Poskim rule it does not. [Rama ibid; Ravayah; Hagahos Maimanis] Others rule it does. [Shach 340:25; Ramban; See Rav Akiva Eiger; Aruch Hashulchan 340:13; Pnei Baruch 9:30 footnote 94] The prohibition of sewing the clothing in a prohibited time or form applies even towards others. Thus, one may not sell the garment to others without notifying them. [Michaber 340:19; See Shach 340:28 regarding why he must inform the person] Regarding if one may cut off the torn area and then replace it with a new cloth, some Poskim rule it is permitted to do so after 12 months even if one is a mourner for a parent. [Taz 340:10; Bach 340] Others rule it is forbidden. [Birkeiy Yosef 340 in name of Beis David 14:162, brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah 340:9; Gilyon Maharsha] The above laws apply to all garments that are torn during the Shiva. [Michaber 340:14] Regarding if one transgressed and sewed the tear, some Poskim rule he must re-tear it. [Tzitz Eliezer 7:49 2-4; Pnei Baruch 1:31]

[181] Rama 340:15; Maryu 6

[182] Using a safety pin to attach the torn sides after Shiva follows the same laws as making an uneven sewing after Shiva, as explained in the previous footnotes. Thus, one who is a mourner for a parent may not do so until after the Shloshim, and some are accustomed to being stringent even by other mourners. [Rama ibid]

[183] Michaber 340:15; Moed Katan 22b

[184] See Pnei Baruch 1 footnote 93

[185] Rama ibid

[186] Michaber 340:15 and 19 and 39

[187] Darkei Chaim Veshalom 981 being that wearing this garment arouses Divine judgment.

[188] Michaber 340:21-24

[189] Within Shiva of the first relative he must make a completely new tear in a three-finger distance from the old tear, or add a Tefach to the original tear. [Michaber 340:3 and 21 and 23; Moed Katan 26b] After Shiva of the first relative, one may simply add any amount to the original tear. [Michaber 340:3 and 21; Moed Katan 26b; See Shach 3; See Kitzur SHU”A 195:10 that requires a Tefach if one already took off the garment; See Nitei Gavriel 60:3] However, for the passing of a parent, one must always make a new tear at a distance of three fingers [6 cm], even after Shiva of the first relative. [Michaber 340:22-23; See Shach 340:35]

[190] Michaber 340:23; Moed Katan 36b

[191] Nitei Gavriel 60:2

[192] Michaber 340:25; Nedarim 87a; See also Michaber 340:26

[193] Michaber 340:24; Nedarim 87a

[194] See Michaber ibid that if he was told wrong information of who passed away then a new Keriah must be done if it was not corrected within Kdei Dibbur of the Keriah. If, however, he just assumed it was a certain relative, without being told, then some Poskim rule he is Yotzei [Michaber ibid] while others rule he is not. [Shach 340:37 in name of Bach] If he tore Stam, without any specific relative in mind, he is Yotzei. [Michaber ibid; Shach 340:38 in name of Darkei Moshe]

[195] Admur Seder 12:8; Luach 11:24; Michaber 222:2; Brachos 54 and 59; See Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 63; Pnei Baruch 1:7

[196] See P”M 222 A”A 1

[197] Admur ibid; M”A 223:4 in name of Bach that so is custom, although is incorrect; Taz 223:4; Kitzur SHU”A 59:6; M”B 223:8; Poskim in Nitei Gavriel 63:4; See P”M 222 A”A 1 that today we are accustomed to diminish in these blessings

[198] See M”A ibid; Kaf Hachaim 223:9

[199] Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2

[200] Halichos Shlomo 23 footnote 46; Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 63:4

[201] Admur ibid; M”A 222:1; Mateh Moshe in name of Sefer Chassidim

[202] Michaber 339:3; Shach 340:3; Ramban in Toras Hadam that so is custom; Kol Bo; Poskim brought in Nitei Gavriel 4:9 footnote 20 and 57:5; See Beir Heiytiv 340:2 that this matter is dependent on custom in whether one recites Tziduk Hadin at the time of the passing; See that the blessing is to be said as soon as one hears of

[203] See Admur ibid; Michaber ibid; Birchas Habayis 31:5

[204] Chochmas Adam 151:11 in name of Rokeiach and Shivlei Haleket; Milameid Lehoil 105

[205] Birkeiy Yosef 340:1; Gesher Hachaim 4:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 4:9; 63:1

The relation of the blessing to Keriah: In essence, there is no Halachic connection between Keriah and the blessing of Dayan Haemes, and it is simply approximated to the Keriah. [See Birkeiy Yosef 340:1; Gesher Hachaim 4:26; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 12 footnote 24] However, some learn that the blessing is related to the actual Keriah. [See Mishmeres Shalom ibid in name of Shevet Yehuda that the blessing is to be repeated at the time of the Keriah; See Sdei Chemed Aveilus 180 in name of Yad Neman]

[206] Mishmeres Shalom Kuf 64; Gesher Hachaim 4:6; Piskeiy Teshuvos 222:2; Nitei Gavriel 63:1; See Halichos Shlomo 23 footnote 46 that Rav SZ”A said the blessing on Shabbos immediately upon hearing of the passing of his wife.

Other opinions: See Mishmeres Shalom ibid in name of Shevet Yehuda that the blessing is to be repeated at the time of the Keriah

Covering the face of the dead: Those who desire to recite the blessing of Dayan Haemes upon seeing the passing of the relative are to cover the face of the deceased before reciting the blessing. [Nitei Gavriel 63:3 in name of Mavor Yabok]

[207] Mishpitei Uziel 103; Gesher Hachaim 57:7; Nitei Gavriel 63:7

Answering Amen: See Gesher Hachaim 58:8 and Nitei Gavriel 63:8 regarding if an Onen may answer Amen to the blessing of Dayan Haemes of another mourner.

[208] Michaber 222:3; Brachos 54

[209] The reason: As the evil that occurs to those who are servants of Hashem is in truth their joy and for their benefit, and since he accepts with love all that Hashem has decreed upon him, it is found that upon accepting this evil he is serving Hashem, which is a reason for joy. [Michaber ibid]

[210] Admur Seder 12:8; Luach 11:24; Michaber 223:2; Chayeh Adam 62:1; M”B 223:9; See Nitei Gavriel 35:1

[211] M”B 223:9; Mor Uketzia 223 regarding a wife; Nitei Gavriel ibid 3

If the son passes away: If one’s son passed away and the father inherited his money, a blessing of Shehechiyanu or Hatov Vihameitiv is not recited. [Gloss of Rav Akiva Eiger 223 in name of Livyas Chen; Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 305:23; Aruch Hashulchan 305:47]

[212] Implication of Admur and all Poskim ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid footnote 2; See however Gesher Hachaim p:166

[213] Taz 223:1; Bach 223; Vetzaruch Iyun today that the blessing of Dayan Haemes is delayed until the funeral if likewise this blessing is to be delayed.

[214] Rama 223:1, as explained in M”A 223:3; Nimukei Orach Chaim 223 that he has never heard anyone accustomed to say the blessing of Shehechiyanu or Hatov Vihameitiv after a death, and that doing so appears extremely cruel that he is happy at his father death and therefore anyone who says the blessing is doing a wonderous act. See Nitei Gavriel 35 footnote 6

[215] M”A 223:3; Implication of Admur and all Poskim ibid who omit the ruling of Rama ibid

[216] Mishmeres Shalom Kuf 64; See Nitei Gavriel 57:7 footnote 15

Other opinions: See Mishmeres Shalom ibid in name of Shevet Yehuda that the blessing is to be repeated at the time of the Keriah

[217] Gesher Hachaim 4:26; Pnei Baruch 28:4; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 12:12

[218] Nitei Gavriel 61:8

[219] See Birchas Habayis 31:5

[220] Sdei Chemed Aveilus 180 in name of Shiyurei Bracha 340:7 and Chaim Sheol 2:38-47 in name of Beis Oved [Vetzaruch Iyun, as the Shiyurei Bracha and Chaim Sheol make no mention of three days in the above sources-see Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 18]; Gesher Hachaim 4:26; Pnei Baruch 1:7; Chol Hamoed Kehilchaso 12:13

[221] The reason: As the blessing is not related to the Keriah but rather to the tiding, and once three days have passed there is no longer enough pain to justify the blessing.

[222] Sdei Chemed Aveilus 180 [in his own opinion]; Nitei Gavriel 57 footnote 18 and 61:9; See Michaber 396:1 and Chochmas Adam 152:1 and Beis David 340:27 that all seven days is considered Shaas Chimum regarding Keriah and the same should apply regarding the blessing

[223] Nitei Gavriel ibid as we find no source for limiting the blessing to three days, as all the above Sefarim and Melaktim based their opinion on the Chida, and there is no source found in the Chida to back their claim in his name.

[224] Nitei Gavriel 63:9 in name of Gesher Hachaim 24:2-3 and in volume 2 38:2; Pnei Baruch 26:22

[225] See Birchas Habayis 31:5

[226] Gesher Hachaim 24:2-3

[227] M”B 222:2

[228] So seems from M”B 222:2 and Shaar Hatziyon 222:2

[229] Daas Kedoshim 345; Nitei Gavriel 63:10

[230] Nitei Gavriel 63:6 in name of Rav Moshe Feinstein; 135:6

[231] Nitei Gavriel 63 footnote 1

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